Bitter Or Better?

"The trials in our life can either make us bitter or better. Affliction can either draw us closer to the heart of God or drive us further from Him; it all depends on our view of God." -Mark A. Finley

For many years I was very bitter towards God because I felt alone and abandoned by him. I felt that all the bad choices I had made were technically his fault because I mistakenly believed that he gave me a terrible lot in life. As a young child I remember thinking that God was religion and his religion was worthless. At the tender age of just 10 I considered suicide for the first time and honestly felt God didn't really care either way or would simply "get over it" because he clearly had better things to do than care about one troubled child. I took that backwards philosophy into my adulthood and as I found myself in the grips of a terrible addiction to painkillers and heroin, abusive partners, depression and anxiety, I slipped farther and farther away from God. Anyone out there relate? Anybody out there sick and tired of feeling that way? I know I was..

Well thank you Jesus I now know the truth, I know with every fiber of my being that not only am I loved right now, I was loved BACK THEN TOO. You are too whether you FEEL like you are not. Our feelings are more often than not unreliable and an attempt of satan to keep us in bondage and away from the reality he never wants us to see. The book of Mark speaks of truth and what to believe; it says, "..and surely I am with you ALWAYS, to the very end of the age." He was there whether you felt Him or not, He is with you RIGHT NOW, whether you believe it or not.

God never causes the heartache in this world but He will heal your heart if you will ask him into your life. Yes, God could squash satan like a bug right now and force us to love, trust, and worship him, but in doing so we would lose the choice he has given us. Forced will is NEVER love, it is slavery. Ever since the fall in the garden a great controversy has been brewing on this planet, since the very second Eve ate from the forbidden fruit God has been wooing us back to himself. He gave us a way back and a way to be redeemed from every one of our chains, our bitterness, and our sin. He and his beloved son together decided to make the ultimate sacrifice for this broken world to redeem us. I mistakenly thought my entire life, that even though I was a broken sinner, I would ultimately go to heaven someday because I was "deep down a good person." That is one of the deadliest half truths satan tells us. The bible clearly says, "I tell you the TRUTH, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." It also says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God did NOT send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to SAVE THE WORLD through him." My hope for every single person who may read this is that first of all, you may realize that sometimes our perception of God is not always accurate and that NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL about God, he loves you in a completely unreserved, all consuming way. Second, there is NOTHING you could ever do to change that fact. Think of it this way, when a toddler spills their drink for the 1,0000th time do you love them any less? You may feel upset but you don't stop loving them or wanting them to be happy right? When we sin God doesn't stop loving us either: and he NEVER will. In fact, he wants us to choose to come to him. He wants us to choose him and his son. Won't you think about it? Please...

girl4god girl4god
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 23, 2012

Thank You for sharing. <br />
God Is Good All the Time and All the Time God Is Good.<br />
Watch out because He will show up and show out!!!

I love this story! Thank you for posting it girl4God. :)

You are so welcome friend..