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God Cares About Pain In Good Times

I know God is taking care of me or I would not have been accepted to one of the best Universities in the country. He would not have sent me wonderful room-mates, a good pastor, a wonderful faith-based therapist, and all the help I've had along the way. I know this new experience is painful because I am used to being poor. I am used to Welfare lines, a large family with extended with large issues, my parents being forced to rent rooms to odd people to scrape a few dollars, and I am used to seeing a lot of unhappiness around me. So I know God is taking care of me even though I feel pain in the new quietness of my lifestyle and guilt in escaping a life that so many of my friends could no escape.

I know God is taking care of me because he is helping me heal the scars a number of betraying mishaps that happened in my past. He is allowing me to feel trust and using the sensitivity that follows hurt to generate more meaning in my studies. Even though struggles at home can still distract me from studies, even though I have to work long hours, and even though things piece together in odd ways, I know he is still looking out for me. I may feel stupider than most of my colleagues and I may feel like getting into this school was a mistake on the part of admissions, God has a plan for me. Despite all the distractions, my grades are good. Now, he has given me the opportunity to do this large scholarly project. Even though I am struggling so much with it, I know God is working it all out. God knows that I struggled emotionally this past semester, God knows some of my friends passed away too young, but God is still there giving me favor and opportunity beyond opportunity.

God, I know you are taking care of me as I try to understand everything that culminated to my life at this point. I know, at times I lack faith and I question you. I am often angry and confused with you. However, you are there bringing me the opportunities I need right when I need them. Help me become more emotionally stable. Please God, grant me the brain and the resources to do this project well. Thank you for this opportunity and may it all come to you in the end.

Amen.
An Ep User An EP User Jan 8, 2013

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