Internet Friendship Is Real, But We Must Be Cautious....

I have a very real and intimate connection with a very select few people on the internet. I have been friends with them for years, and for almost the entire year, have talked to them daily on the phone, over skype, etc. .. DAILY. I feel very close to them, though we have never met. I share my feelings, I laugh with them, I cry with them, I worry for them, and they worry about me.... I love them. This is a real friendship. Sadly, they live on the other side of the USA than do I... and setting up a meeting is not an easy task (unless we had a lot of extra money with neither of us do).. but, truth be told... I am afraid to meet them. I LOVE what we have... and my past experience has shown me that once you meet in real life, the relationship changes.I dont want to lose what I have with them....

I think the internet is deceitful... not in an intentional way, but in a way, where we can only see 'snippets' of other people, and filling in the gaps... our imagination...

And our imagination knows exactly what we WANT... and we sometimes can decieve ourselves... when the reality of things may bring a different picture...

So, I have learned at a young age to be cautious of developing any type of 'feelings' over the internet.... and believing that it would be the same if we crossed the real-life boundries....

Yes, I can 'think' I would feel a certain way towards a certain person or people from what I gather about them from the internet, but I know that until you are sitting face to face, you never know how you will feel, how you may or may not connect, etc.

I've met many people from online, and have had these things confirmed...

I had a 'friend' for 4 years over the internet... that friendship ended the day we met.

I would love to hear about your experiences meeting others, and how your perception of them over the internet vs how it was when you actually met, was. Sometimes, it can be just as you expect. but, at least for me, more often than not, I find it to be different than expected.....
DreamChristine DreamChristine
31-35, F
6 Responses Oct 17, 2012

My imagination used to run wild when I was online. These days I'm much more realistic - in that sense - the world have become more boring in a way, but some people have a beauty that shine so bright, even on the internet. It makes me grateful, because I would never have met them in my "real" life.

True. It does open a new possibility to see people in a light you might not have noticed otherwise.

The thing that I always focus on - probably because I need to focus on it in order to stay healthy - is that people can be more good-hearted than they seem to be. For me, this knowledge makes it much more attractive to walk out in the "real" world, which I - by the way - don't plan to do today.

People who say they have an 'online bf/gf' should read this story. It takes a lot to really know a person... of course meeting people online is nice and Internet friends are likely to be good potential friends... but there's always something that you only understand when you meet someone in person.

Exactly... this relationship that I talked about here in Oct actually ended very coldly in November.. After that, I decided to shy away from "internet" relationships as I feel you can never really know someone over the internet.

(at least the kind where I start making myself believe I can really be in love with someone.. heh)

Have only met one internet friend. I do not think either of us had great expectations of anything coming out of it. We wanted it to remain platonic, and it has. We had a nice dinner and it basically confirmed for both of us, that we were who we said we were. I think we are now closer than we were before. I am very, very glad we met. Had it been designed for more than that, it probably would not have had the same results.

Thats a good point. It is different if you have 'romantic' feelings before meeting in rl.. rather than meeting as friends. very true.

All my friends are internet friends. One of them is my best friend, who I've know for 2 years.

Yes, Im starting to realize that the internet is the future way that people will connect. There is no getting around it. And, as I recently discovered, not really a bad thing.

The internet IS the future, and the future starts with you.

You seem to be a very insightful young woman. I agree with you that one must be careful on the Internet. The Internet is not deceitful, but people are, and not always in an evil way. The fantasy of our imaginations soon withers in the light of reality. People always put their best foot forward on the Internet and portray a life that isnt real.There is an excitement in the fantasy of how we perceive people that we truly do not know. We tend to elevate people in our minds with non realistic expectations and in the cold light of day, these expectations crumble. I have found the same thing to happen with friendship and love. I have been good friends with a few women, and imagined spending a lifetime together. We laughed, joked, and had a wonderful time with each other. We shared our hopes and thoughts, but not our most intimate feelings. Love brings increased expectations of another person, and when sex is added to the mix, true friendship seems to dissolve quickly...

Yes, it can get very complicated. That is for sure. :)

I agree, you never will truly know what you will get when you meet someone. I have met people who are exactly who I imagined. There have also been a few that seem to be the same people, BUT like the flip of a switch completely different than I envisioned. I say take a chance you never know what you will get, if they are true friends they will be just as you hoped and more. If they are nuts then you will still have a good internet friend along with some memories made when you met.

idk... if they turn out to be loonies, I think even the internet friendship is blown, no? lol

If they were completely nuts and the relationship ended that would point out to you that the relationship was only one sided. I would think at this point then that whatever you thought was more than there, and like an imaginary friend they were fulfilling a part of a need that was not being met by other real friends.

Yea, i guess that makes sense... lol