'i', The BudhdhaI escaped the vices of the palace in search of some thing that will help me escape the misery of humanity. From the hermit living in the mountain pass to the monk in the mystic valley , every one I met said to me that there is no escape from misery. They made me promise them that if I ever come across such thing, I would part the secret with them.
Day and night , I submerged myself in the avalanche of thoughts - escaping worldly misery. Days became weeks and then months and years but no finding in sight. Lived off the land - one tiny leaf a day, one drink of water, on tiny fruit and a grain . The nonchalant and youthful stream laughed at my futile and juvenile pursuit. I tried to strike a conversation but why will a joyous and youthful lend it's ear to a clueless prospector ?
Nights, I stared into the face of silver moon , prayed , begged , lured him with offerings. Whispered him to share me the secret, share me the secret of his eternal youthfulness and gaiety.
Body screaming and shouting at me to suspend this stupid search for there is no such thing as escape from misery. 21 days, days and nights, I could hear my organs breathing, the innards throbbing. They are on their knees begging me to feed them. To save them. I said I am helpless unless I find 'the truth'.
Then it happened. The pursuit ended under this tree like a benevolent old lady. This madness called enlightenment. It occurred to me . The search ended at nothingness. No wisdom. No wise men. No practice . And no enlightenment. That which I have searched all these years.
If this is disheartening , then what is ? But then again , there is no heart either.