Solution For Shyness

In spite of a job that required regular contact with people from very different walks of life, I remained very shy.  If not for professional reasons, I'm not the guy who starts a chat with someone I don't know. 

Women are even more intimidating than men.  The reason is deeply rooted insecurity, as with most shy people I guess. 

In my own eyes, I didn't exactly look like an 'attractive boy' and the reassurances of women didn't fundamentally change my mind.  I simply didn't understand the secret of my sex-appeal and even concluded that maybe it was my shyness.  This conclusion was not sufficient to overcome it, and in spite of the love of some radiant women my social handicap remained.  It had, as I said, to do with my physical appearance but I forgot what specific aspects of it. 

It remains a handicap till this day.  A handicap, because behind the mask of shyness, I was very curious  and sometimes very attracted. 

The wonder of the internet is that it abolishes all hesitations and complexities, related with direct and physical encounters.  Yet, paradoxically, it allows for very close and direct contacts.  Deeper layers of the other can be explored within a very short timespan. 

The absence of psychological hinderances, resulting from one's own self image, make it easier to express thoughts and emotions freely.  Intimacy of any kind is easier and with less danger. 

The new media certainly create the conditions for some lasting long distance friendships and relations.  Evidently, the backside of the coin is that physical contact is required for certain types of relationships, especially when trust is paramount.  But trust is a matter of give and take and of intuition.  Even on the internet it doesn't take an extraordinary amount of judgement and insight into character to know who's to be trusted and who's not.  

moreandless moreandless
56-60, M
2 Responses Feb 27, 2010

I fully agree with the legitimacy of a comfort zone of discretion and as far as I can judge, many people here take care of that and they're right in doing so. You feel safer, Sylph, and I think we all do if we have that zone, but because of it we also can be franker and reveal aspects of ourselves that 'normally' we wouldn't show so fast.<br />
And indeed, it's impossible to hide if there's something inside that wants to speak.

When I started on EP, there were several hesitations as to how far I can reveal myself. That to me is my comfort zone. The less you know about me, the safer I am. It could be lack of trust; I see a person's eyes and gauge their sincerity. It is very hard to do that here.<br />
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I don't think I'm shy...I may act coy...haha! ;)<br />
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And somewhere during these brief months, bits of me started to show. One can not totally hide if there's an inner you that wants so badly to get out.