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Shattered Lives

I was with the same woman for 18 years, we were married for 13 of them. I will admit that I was not the best husband, that I could have loved her more and dedicated more time to her and her needs, instead I was too focussed on paying the bills and insuring that my reputation at work was as good as it could be to enable us to go for all of the various meetings and appointments we needed to go through for the fertility treatments and later adoption proceedures.

What does this have to do with mormonism? My wife befriended a mormon over the internet and they became rather close, so much so that she even began to stay up at night to chat with him instead of coming to bed with me. After three straight nights of her coming to bed in he early hours of the morning just as I was getting up I decided that it was enough. I walked out and when I tried to come back in the afternoon knowing that I had made a huge mistake, she denied me access to the house and our daughters. She claimed that she had found someone better and that she would no longer be under my controling ways.

Issue #1 - a mormon stepped in to undermine, even destroy a marriage.

As she persued *his* religion she started to distance herself from people. Now it made sense for her to distance herself from my neice and nephews, but what was strange was that she initially said that she hoped they would remain friends since they all adored her and she in turn adored them. Yet after her badtism and confirmation which happened all in a single weekend, she cut all ties with them hurting people who respected, loved and adored her.

My wife continued this isolation by turning her back on the biological family of our oldest daughter who had adopted us (emotionally speaking) making us feel more welcomed than we had felt in our own families. The idea was that our oldest daughter would still be able to stay in touch with *her* grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and cousins. We had been a little concerned about how things would work with our second adoptive daughter but everyeone accepted her on equal footing as they did their own flesh and blood which was great as it gave our second daughter a real family to belong to.

When I spoke to the elder of my wife's new church he was rather quick to point out that there was no requirement for my wife to stay in contact with the grandparents. Since the adoption had been finalized they had "no legal rights" to her daughter.

Issue #2 - mormons believe in the importance of family, and yet they supported an adoptive mother isolating her daughter from her true biological family.

Under the continued influence of the church and I suspect of the new man in her life, my wife is seeking a divorce and hoped that she would gain control of the girls to drag them into this deceitful religion. When I was able to get a court restriction on her ability to bring the girls to church her attitude changed and she began to lie to the police and social services to get me in as much trouble as possible.

I was arrested and investigated on various charges, all of which were dropped after a few hours of the officials speaking with me. Since her efforts to see me out of the girls' lives were unsuccessful she began to spread false rumours in the community, likely in an effort to cost me my job. She has gone on record when speaking to the police that she still loves me, yet she is doing all that she can to see me land in jail so that she can get full control of the girls and likely move to Utah where her new man is.

Instead of working to save a family, the church and its members have been more than happy to accept her and help her in forging lies to gain her trust and possibly more members. For her to tell me "I've forgiven you" and almost in the same breath turn around and lay charges against me that would see me land in jail is part of the legacy of the mormon church.

Not a single member stepped forward to help the *family* because I was not a member of the church, instead they are as a community helping her to force me out of the lives of my daughters, depriving them of their father and his love.

This is what the mormon church truly is, a facade of good hiding a darkness that would make the devil himself cringe.
Falcran Falcran 41-45, M 3 Responses Apr 23, 2012

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Wow. I am Mormon, and if you ask me, that is not how we act. Of course, we don't know both sides to the story, and it's best to not judge. In your situation, I could understand why you would be mistrustful of Mormons, and their beliefs. I am praying for you, good luck! I'm so sorry that your view of Mormons has to be seen through this situation. I'm so sorry!

i am so very sorry. your heart must be breaking~<br />
*praying*

Thank you. May 1st will mark the 1 year of the separation during which time I have been arrested twice and investigated countless other times for various *crimes*, yet I am still able to see and be with my girls every weekend - they are the only reason why I am still here and why I cannot give up the fight. if I do, I condem them to being dragged into this "religion" and see their future drastically confined through fear and ignorance.

I think that you are doing the right thing. Seems like you are the only one on their side in this. I really hope and pray that they don't have to end up living in that cult.

A typical phenomenon when dealing with a cult is the isolation from people who are not in the cult. More proof that it should not be recognized as a legitimate religion.