Where's The Delete Button?
Words are spoken and heard but that's not the end of it. They are then stored in the mind where there is no delete button. Words can be replayed in the mind thousands of times and thirty years after they were spoken. This can be a gift when what we are recalling is something said that had a positive impact on us,made us feel better about ourselves or reaffirmed for us that we are a good and decent person. But the negative, hurtful things once spoken can haunt us like a ghost. We seem to put more weight on those things and replay them more often. It can be something said by a parent when we were a child that made us feel ashamed or something said by a teacher that made us feel stupid. It can be something said by an old boyfriend that injures our self esteem and causes us to never look at ourselves as attractive or desired again or something said by our child that leaves us forever doubting if we were as good of a parent as we should have been. We seem to put more gravity on the negative things spoken to us, probably because they are hurtful and fill us with self doubt. We can replay it so many times that we eventually make it bigger in our mind that what it really was meant to be. We tend to accept as fact the things we are told about ourselves, even if at the time we protested. After days and weeks of playing it back in our head we unknowingly begin to believe it. When people are extremely angry and yelling at us, they can say horrible things and it feels like they are spilling out all the things they have been holding in. You can almost see the satisfaction on their face as if the purging did them a world of good and a few days later they will tell you they didn't mean anything they said. But it never feels that way. It leaves you wondering if it was then, when they were so angry they couldn't conrol themselves or what they said, that the truth was finally spoken. Words cannot be taken back. They pierce our heart but worse, then are stored in the mind forever and we torture ourselves by replaying it repeatedly. Our mind is amazing in that we can recall several negative things said and put them together as if on a list to confirm for us that we are not good enough. It is a mistake to say something you do not mean because those things will become facts in the mind of the person they were spoken to.