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Wow, How Things Change From One Minute To The Next.

I wrote on here on April 23 about my wife having an affair and how it has completely turned my life upside down.  Today, a friend I have not seen since I had come home on leave while in the military contacted me.  The feeling I had when she told me who she was is just, well, undescribable.  I felt euforia. I dont know how else to explain it. She was the love that I never had a chance to experience. I hesitated back then to kiss her like I wanted and she wanted me to.  I respected her and the fact she was dating at the time.  Granted, she had only been seeing him for a couple of days but she was spoken for as far as I was concerned.  I should have done it.  Her life and mine could have been completely different right now.  She told me of how he is a mental abuser and a control freak.  She wants to leave him, but I told her that she needs to try and work it out for her children.  I am afraid I am doing it again.  Pushing away a person that I never stopped thinking about. For 20 years she has always been on my mind.  When she called and we talked, it was as if we ha never lost contact with each other. As I said, we have not talked in 15 years until today.  Unbelievable. OMG, I don't know what to do, I am completely confused.  I do not want to be the cause of a failed marriage, and at the same time I dont want to lose her again. I want to throw up. Somebody with some sanity help me out..........please.

Ok everyone. I have an update. I went out with my dream girl, it was more than I could have ever hoped it could be. At the end of the night when it was time to go home, I told her that this June 1992 all over again, and this time I am not going to blow it. So I kissed her like I wanted to and I felt so alive. I havent slept in 36 hrs and I so high still(love) that I dont care if I ever sleep again. Ok. Thats it. Thanks to those who have emailed me. And to those who think that Divorce is the end, look around you, your happiness may just be beginning.

crewchief1949 crewchief1949 36-40, M 2 Responses May 7, 2010

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Good for you follow your dreams and heart! Plus her staying in an emotionally abusive relationship is not good for her or her kids. Be there for her, but understand the turmoils that can happen. :-)

My personal philosophy is that life is too short, so I do not agree with self-imposed suffering. If your heart lies elsewhere, then I say you explore that avenue and either get it out of your system, or change your life so you can be together. But that's just me. Ultimately you know best, and know the consequences of your actions. You will need to weigh carefully your reasons. I hope you make the best decision possible, that will help you avoid a lifetime of regret.