Women and Rape

         Women may have it better or worse according to the society they're living in.  In one extreme of our world society, a woman may have the freedom to enjoy the company of the opposite sex before she makes her decision in life, yet along the way - she may be hurt, molested, humiliated, and no one in her society would stand up for her.  She is all alone to trudge the cruelty of many men, who wants nothing else out of her but her crown of glory.   As a society, women are told to forgo this glory - forget virginity, nobody values it anymore. 

         On the other extreme, her society view her crown of glory with fear.  Her virginity stands as the indicator of her family honor.  All the male members of her family guard her like a precious oyster, hidden deep below the ocean.  If she dares to allow a man to behold her pearl of beauty, her crown of glory - lo and behold - her male relatives lost their honor, and would do everything to tell the world that they were not cowards - they were simply neglectful.  A deadly fate for her oyster.

        I remember growing up, my mom used to say.  Society is cruel.  In her society, boys can go out much more than girls.  Parents don't worry too much if their boys fall in love, or fall in lust and impregnate some girls.  In those days, bad girls are the only ones who fall prey to carousing guys.  What do you expect from guys anyway?  My feminists mom would tell me, "men are weak - and almost equal to animals regarding the need for sex.  They'd take any woman they can get! Parents of boys were regarded lucky because their boys don't have wombs to grow babies in.  Girls with babies are BIG problems! 

        That's what happens when parents don't fear God.  My own mother's favourite saying is "what would people say..."  That's the mantra of the conservative society.    Morality begins with God's commandments, but over time, people feel laxed.  The only thing to keep people obedient is sometimes the fear that others may think lowly of them.  In a liberal society, this expectation is nil.  To each is his ownself.  There's no more fear of judgement of others - therefore society thrives on experimenting with any kind of orientation of life they desire: homosexuality, ***********, cohabitation, serial monogamy, polygamy, sex slavery etc. 

        In a free society, a woman must have the courage to take care of herself.  There's no conservative network of people that look over each other's shoulder and nudge each other to moral nourishment.  On the contrary, people brag more about their "conquest" than anything else.  Women are not anybody's conquest.  Just a few minute ago, an anonymous sent me a video-interview via email of a bunch of US soldiers in Iraq that gang-raped a 15 year old Iraqi girl.   The guy interviewed was reported to have laughed off the whole thing, and in the end, he even laughed off the fact that they witnessed the girl committing suicide!  I didn't open the video...reading about it was enough for me.  This girl's case is an extreme case.  She was in a land - occupied.  She'd probably seen other worse atrocities.  Perhaps her rape was the thing that convinces her it's time to die.  But, to the soldiers - it may not be so bad.  How many female soldiers from the USA has been raped as well.  It's not such a bizarre thing then to rape a girl from a subordinated group.  But to rape fellow soldiers?  Girls in free societies get raped on a casual basis.  Most of the time, nobody comes out to talk about it!  Because society doesn't really care!

It will get a little report in the newspaper: "A man climbed into someone's window and rape a woman.  Police alerted the neighborhood!"  Yeah, there's a fox stealing eggs in your neighborhood, watch out!  This is not how it feels like to women...  It's amazing with all the liberation that women have achieved in this postmodern world - they can't stand up to secure their own dignity.  They can't secure their own self-respect that is EXCLUSIVE to women.   This is a sad world.

       If women are really in charged as they say they are these days, it's time to train those boys - yeah the small one and the big one.  It's time to educate men to be respectful to women, not just by opening doors - not just by calling them ma'am - but by not taking advantage of their sexuality. 

      Once the Prophet was visited by a man, who is not yet proficient in the religion of Muhammad (ie. Islam).  The man ask the Prophet if he could have sex with a woman.  The Prophet was a prophet born amongst the pagan Arabs of Makka(Bakka) who share wives and kill daughters casually.  He calmly asked the man, "Would you like for someone to do that to your sister?"  The man answered innocently, "No" and he asked the question again, "Can I have sex without marriage with a woman?"  The Prophet asked, "Would you like for someone to do that to your daughter?"  And the man said, "No".  But still he asked for the third time (perhaps he was extremely lustful and didn't know how to get out of the situation).  Then the Prophet said, "Would you like for a man to have sex with your mother?"  Hearing that, the man finally understood.

In fact, the Prophet announced to his community that sex outside of marriage is forbidden by God due to negative consequences that result from it.  The Prophet encouraged his community of Muslims to get married as soon as they are able in order to protect their chastity.  For those who are unable to get married, he prescribe for them to do voluntary fast regularly as a way of strengthening their soul and willpower.

God Knows Best.

      

nourradiance nourradiance
36-40, F
11 Responses Jul 16, 2007

Truth is ever unfolding within the heart. Thanks for the word of wisdom. Sorry, I forgot to respond to this one all this time. Hope things are great for you Radiant.

Hi,<br />
<br />
I based my comments above on what I have read of God in the bible and the koran, as well as, on observation of several cultures that I have visited.<br />
<br />
The bottom line in all of our exiplanation is that the heart must dwell in truth, and that truth is ever unfolding. Like budding artists or teachers or parents, that must learn how to more and more fulfill their role, each individual encounters and learns more and more how to fulfill truth. Truth must become understandable in the progressive cultures through which it becomes recognized and embraced. And truth can not be legislated or merely taught or enforced by a religious body.<br />
<br />
A Jew, a Muslim, a Christian, a Buddhist will always agree on the basics:<br />
<br />
Love the Creator and respect all that He/She created,<br />
Love one another,<br />
Do good unto others as you would want them to do to you,<br />
Wage peace not war,<br />
Leave judgement about eternal things in the hands of the All knowing, All Loving, and All Just God, who created and therefore understands, the secrets things of each man's heart.<br />
<br />
We err far to often because we can not read the intentions of God or man.<br />
<br />
Thank you again norradiance for your valuable insight and for sharing some of the beauty of Islam with us. <br />
<br />
R

Hi Radiant. Great to hear from you!<br />
I must say your comments contain some similarities yet some differences between the Muslim perspective and the Christian perspective. Therefore, when you don't put your reference on each one, I am not sure if you are referring to the Qur'an or the Bible, considering that you are well-versed in these religions. So I'd go over your statements below:<br />
<br />
R: The struggle or jihad is against the natural God-made desire to enjoy the beauty of a woman. <br />
NR: In Islam, the struggle is only against enjoying the beauty of women not related to the men, in marriage. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the natural God-made desire towards one's wife or wives.<br />
<br />
<br />
R: God did not make Eve a dorky puny stupid woman that simply said, "whatever you want dear".<br />
NR: I don't think Eve needed Adam's help in anything - since they were living in Paradise, where everything was (and will be) within reach and no suffering exists. I think men and women are equal in every way in Paradise, but that's subject to more scrutiny.<br />
<br />
R:She was the man's helpmeet. God did not take a bone from Adam's foot or his knee or his thigh to show that she was below him. The bone was not from his shoulder or hss head to show she was above him. He took a bone from his rib, signifying that she was chest to chest with him, or equal in value and humanity. It is obvious that she looked different, and since she was a helpmeet, she must have been created to complete, or fill in the blanks, or at least see things in ways that assisted Adam. <br />
NR: This is an Islamic perspective of male and female complimentary relationship.<br />
<br />
R:They did not use clothing until they "felt naked" and God asked, "who told you that you are naked?".<br />
NR: What you don't know won't hurt you. But there's a difference when someone on earth today walks around naked and realizes that everyone else is looking at him/her naked. In Islamic tradition, it is the satan that made them realized they were naked, and they covered themselves and their dignity with one another.<br />
<br />
R:The problem is not the beauty of men and women. It is the fact that men have been taught that it is dirty or against God to enjoy the beauty of men and women. <br />
<br />
NR: That is not the Islamic perspective. Sex within marriage is rewardable by God and is considered a noble means of increasing the human population who submit to God's will. The only "dirty" sex is the illicit one, in Islam. Yet, we still have to physically purify ourselves after sexual intercourse before we approach God in our ritual prayers. So maybe you're right that it has some aspects of dirtiness in it - but I personally think that has more to do with the "dirty" consequential stuff that results from intercourse - such as semens.<br />
<br />
R:God made us to live in families, communicite, cities, and the World. <br />
Therefore, we are espected to enjoy eachother as father, son, brother, mother, daughter, sister or as husband or wife. <br />
NR: Exactly!<br />
<br />
R:A man who looks at a woman and feels physical careing <br />
feels quilty but he must remain pure if he is to get to heaven. <br />
NR: Why not marry that woman. No guilt!<br />
<br />
R:Therefore, he must BLAME THE WOMAN for being beautiful or for not having every inch of herself covered up. <br />
NR: Hahaha, there's lots of Muslim men like that. I just bumped into a website where the man said, the Prophet Muhammad's last sermon warned Muslim to watch out for women as the Israelites had failed regarding women...something along that line(Ahmad 3:22). So, the majority of conservative society take this hadith(saying) to mean, make sure you cover those women up and hide them somewhere... However, traditional scholars who are more well-versed with the bulk of the Prophet's tradition, take this warning to concern the ill-treatment of men towards his womenfolk. There was another hadith (saying) where the Prophet Muhammad said, "The best of man amongst you is the best towards his wife. And I am the best concerning my wives" (NR is supposed to have the reference)<br />
Therefore, Muslim men today, need re-education, that's for sure!!!<br />
<br />
R:Men who live where women are never seen, seem to get awfully excited by some small part of a women like her ankle or her fingers!!!<br />
NR: Tell me about it! It's pathetic. How did you see this Radiant? <br />
<br />
R:There is something wrong with any society that does not allow the sillouette or face to be seen. There is something wrong with any soiety that lets everything fall out of the clothing. Either society is asking for trouble.<br />
NR: I've been in both societies and the ones in between. I don't think anyone should force anybody to be a silhouette or to walk around naked, by personal or societal coercion. Education through the hearts is the best way I think. <br />
<br />
R:Thank you for your careful and truthful comments here. <br />
NR: Thank you. I enjoy it immensely.<br />
<br />
It is a struggle to find balance in a society or in an individual, however, the answer is not to legislate<br />
behavior. The answer is not to become one world religion. <br />
NR: Yup, In the Qur'an it said: "If God had willed, succeeding generations would not fought against each other after clear verses of God had come to them, but they differed. Some of them believed and others disbelieved. If God had willed they would not have fought against one another, but God does what he likes. (Cow:2:253)<br />
As a Muslim, I must ask invite disbelievers to believe in what I believe is the salvation, but if they say "No, thanks" - I've done my job. I can just be friends with that person, no hard feelings on my side. "There is no compulsion in religion." (Cow:2:256)<br />
<br />
R:The answer comes when there are simple deeded of neighborly advice and kindness that let people in a town know what is respectable and what is not. <br />
Then when you move to another town, you learn what is ok in this new place.<br />
NR: I try not to change myself based on the society that I live in, but it's been hard. I tend to make my scarf shorter when I am in the US. It's a constant struggle - to not fear what others think of you.<br />
<br />
R:We must respect eachother's attempts at modesty. <br />
NR: It's a huge challenge as it is. Respect will give strength to the youngsters who are bombarded with the opposite message.<br />
<br />
R:As the Bible says, "God looks at the intent of the heart".<br />
NR: And the Prophet Muhammad's saying something like "Every action is judged by its intention."<br />
<br />
NR

The struggle or jihad is against the natural God-made desire to enjoy the beauty of a woman. <br />
<br />
God did not make Eve a dorky puny stupid woman that simply said, "whatever you want dear".<br />
<br />
She was the man's helpmeet. God did not take a bone from Adam's foot or his knee or his thigh to show that she was below him. The bone was not from his shoulder or hss head to show she was above him. He took a bone from his rib, signifying that she was chest to chest with him, or equal in value and humanity. It is obvious that she looked different, and since she was a helpmeet, she must have been created to complete, or fill in the blanks, or at least see things in ways that assisted Adam. <br />
<br />
They did not use clothing until they "felt naked" and God asked, "who told you that you are naked?".<br />
<br />
The problem is not the beauty of men and women. It is the fact that men have been taught that it is dirty or against God to enjoy the beauty of men and women. <br />
<br />
God made us to live in families, communicite, cities, and the World. <br />
<br />
Therefore, we are espected to enjoy eachother as father, son, brother, mother, daughter, sister or as husband or wife. <br />
<br />
A man who looks at a woman and feels physical careing <br />
feels quilty but he must remain pure if he is to get to heaven. <br />
<br />
Therefore, he must BLAME THE WOMAN for being beautiful or for not having every inch of herself covered up. <br />
<br />
Men who live where women are never seen, seem to get awfully excited by some small part of a women like her ankle or her fingers!!!<br />
<br />
There is something wrong with any society that does not allow the sillouette or face to be seen. There is something wrong with any soiety that lets everything fall out of the clothing. Either society is asking for trouble.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your careful and truthful comments here. <br />
<br />
It is a struggle to find balance in a society or in an individual, however, the answer is not to legislate<br />
behavior. The answer is not to become one world religion. <br />
<br />
The answer comes when there are simple deeded of neighborly advice and kindness that let people in a town know what is respectable and what is not. <br />
<br />
Then when you move to another town, you learn what is ok in this new place.<br />
<br />
We must respect eachother's attempts at modesty. <br />
<br />
As the Bible says, "God looks at the intent of the heart".<br />
<br />
R

Hi Radiant,<br />
Sorry I let this slipped for too long. Hope things been well for you if you read this.<br />
I completely agree with you that women get blamed too much. People get hyperfocus on the law instead of the spirit or intention the law meant to serve. Men must be responsible for their actions and so do women. That is why Muslim men must strive to overcome their weakness relating to the opposite sex, and sometimes, even same-sex. Averting the eyes is so difficult for men - imagine walking the street of Times Square, NY. It's a huge challenge for Muslim men and other men of faith. But For God's sake...it's jihad! (jihad means struggle).

I like the fact that these religions care about what happens to women. I think that in some cases, the basic reason behind such things, such as coverings of the head, leg or chest, have become distored into the connotation, that women are to blame if a man has a sexual urge while looking upon them. <br />
<br />
Or that the letter of the law (which is to cover these areas) becomes the FOCUS and if it is not followed for WHATEVER REASON, the woman is at fault and whatever befalls her, she DESERVED. It gives men a way out of not being fully responsible for their actions. Again, it is her fault. Therefor the men will get little <br />
if any reprimend. <br />
<br />
I wonder if averting the eyes is helpful?<br />
<br />
What goes on in the mind?<br />
<br />
Thank you again. Have a blessed Eid-al-Fitr!<br />
<br />
Love, <br />
<br />
R

Hi Radiant,<br />
I'm sorry for not responding sooner. The fasting month of Ramadhan makes the time feel like it moves so fast. But anyways, I don't find much disagreement with your comment. <br />
<br />
I think women have to take a pro-active role in taking care of themselves. All the Hollywood images of women being tough cops, warrior princesses etc. is good only in the message of telling them to take up martial arts. However, even with self-defense skills, the average woman is not always capable of keeping herself safe from a rapist. The same Hollywood shows would then show the personal side of a woman - wherein she falls in love and give in to one of her colleagues. This message gets transmitted to young women all the time - teaching them to lose their dignity to men who cares nothing much for them beyond a few minutes of pleasure, again and again throughout their lives until they are lucky enough to meet a man that would commit to marriage. Even then, this man may turn out to be a total loser - and she'd be better off unmarried unless she doesn't have any education or any means of earning money other than through the oldest institution for women in need (**********).<br />
<br />
I believe women should take care of themselves by portraying a modest image of themselves. Young girls should not be taught to dress up in order to get the attention of boys. Sure, everyone say we dress up for our own selves. However, our own selves crave attention from others - and any girl knows the attention of men is more thrilling than the attention of fellow girls. To many girls, this is where the line stops...they just want attention. Period. But for the male species, an attractive girl brings in a flood of emotion and hormonal reactions.<br />
<br />
So, I do agree that society doesn't protect girls from these men. Girls and boys, men and women need to protect their ownselves from impure thoughts and actions, and injustice towards fellow human beings. This is the message of religion - something that human societies are not capable of espousing through their own actions, yet alone to invent. The inability of society to come up with moral codes of its own design, to me, is one of the proofs for it being divine. Moral codes come only with Confucious, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad. Look at today's secular moral constitutions! Is it a success...are we safer or worse off?<br />
<br />
The Koran addressed both men and women when it says: "Tell the believing man to lower their eyes and guard their private area, that is more innocent for them for God is fully aware of whatever they do.<br />
Tell the believing women to lower their eyes and guard their private area, and not to show their ornaments except the obvious ones and to draw their coverings over their breasts, and not show their graces except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their...(whole list of them) (Koran, Chapter Light, v.30-31)<br />
In another chapter, women were told to wear a cloak over their beautiful or skimpy house-clothes "so that they may not be molested".(Koran)<br />
<br />
Therefore, in some religious traditions, God through His messengers step into society that doesn't care about the threat to women and told the women themselves how they should conduct themselves in order to protect themselves from certain men who have "diseased in their hearts"(Koran) Therefore Muslim women and conservative Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists - generally most traditional societies preserve the safety of women by the means of a conservative dress which universally includes a shawl or covering of the head or part of the head. The most revered woman in history, Mary herself is dressed modestly perhaps not just for her safety, but also so that "men with diseased in their hearts" would not say anything impure and scandalous regarding her - which does not befit her holiness. This is my own understanding based on a revelation in the Koran, regarding the wives of the prophet Muhammad, and their special status. <br />
<br />
As you might notice from the Koranic quotation, believing men are also asked to lower their gaze. Thus, in a religious Muslim household, mothers and fathers are supposed to teach their sons and daughters to lower their gaze or change the TV channel if something indecent is on. Fathers should always lead by examples rather than gazing happily into Baywatch or making macho comments.<br />
<br />
The revelation continues with: <br />
"Wed those among you who are unmarried, even the virtious of your servants and maids. If they are poor, God will relieve them from the divine bounty. ...."<br />
"Let those who find no way to marry be chaste, until God provides for them from the divine bounty.....and do not force your maids into prostitution in your quest for worldly goods...." (Chapter: Light, verses 32-33)<br />
<br />
Finally, as a consolation and an encouragement to seek out a good future spouse, not the "bad boy" type that most girls today seek:<br />
"Bad women are for bad men, and bad men are for bad women. And good women are for good men, and good men are for good women; they are the ones who are innocent of what others say. There is forgiveness for them, and a generous provision." (Chapter Light, v.26)<br />
<br />
<br />
I look forward to more discussions....when I'm finished preparing and celebrating the Muslim holiday of Eid-al-Fitr (Oct.15)

So, again, I am opinionated and probably stated to much, and with more conviction than is necessary on this blog. <br />
<br />
Well, there it is, my opinion. How does it look? <br />
<br />
It is naked, clear as glass, and just standing there.<br />
<br />
<br />
R

Whatever the society and religion, the populace in general values a young woman remaining herself and developing without being interrupted by unwanted and unsolicited sexual advances. She SHOULD be allowed to grow up knowing that men are usually decent. She should be made aware that there are a few men that are not good and she should be taught why it is important to be protective against that type of man. <br />
<br />
No matter what the society, it looks the other way when boys or young men experiement or rape. The boys or young men rarely get admonished, fined, or made to stay and help care for the girl and/or the baby.<br />
Some men who did this thing should not be allowed near the girl and/or the baby. Who decideds? Usually, not the girl. TO BAD. These same societies and religions also look down on the girl, or do little to help her.<br />
<br />
ALL SOCIETIES ARE SIMPLY UNKIND AND SELF INTERESTED PERIOD! There is absolutely NO WAY to reconcile, explain or excuse this bald fact. <br />
<br />
A little girl is far more valuable, beautiful and wonderful than any mere PEARL. <br />
<br />
When not abused, but instead loved, and given freedom to develope their skills, there is no better kidness, patience, love, wisdom or friendship, than in a fine woman. <br />
<br />
Women need to become not only self protective but protective of other girls and women. <br />
<br />
Women need to choose better men or stay single. <br />
<br />
Women need to raise their boys with firm hands and firm methods of insturction and teach them responsibilities toward women. <br />
<br />
Men need to tell their boys to "listen to your mothers", instead of making it appear that women in general can not tell them anything. <br />
<br />
PERIOD.<br />
<br />
<br />
R

Chuckbobuck and Emerald,<br />
You're right about the vixens, and you gave me a good advice. My mom was orphaned at around 6 years old - her mom took her through some hard times - she then, colored my perception. May God reward all the good men and good women in this world and the beautiful Next.

Yep to what Chuck said!