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Surrender

My husband and I have been married for five years now. I wasn't always a surrendered wife, but thankfully my eyes have been opened. I try very hard everyday to be the type of woman I want to become, I'm still a work in progress.  I stopped nagging and instead gave my husband the respect he had always deserved, I listen to him now and fight the urge to give him my constant opinions. I acknowledge all that he does for our family, working sometimes seven days a week so I can stay home and raise our children,  I am so grateful for his sacrifice, it wasn't always this way. I'm finding joy in things that I once dreaded. I love being a housewife, the chores that were once overwhelming I find happiness in because I feel its something I can do to make his life easier and happier. I love the man hes become, I see him for the man he is, that's something I couldn't do before I surrendered. He is my leader, my love, my life. This change I've created in myself has meant so much to us, its helped put us on the right path. -For that enlightenment I am eternally thankful.
traditionalwifeanjul traditionalwifeanjul 36-40 10 Responses Jan 28, 2011

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Respect begets respect. If you offer a man respect usually he's touched and longs to bring you happiness.i know its an old post but it gives me so much hope. A wife who humbles himself before me will find that i go even lower than her and treat her like a goddess. Thank you for words

This is an old post but this is the reason why I joined EP... :)

I admire you being able to fully submit already and enjoying the gifts of it...any update how things are now in your family?

I am not yet married but I wish to and hope my boyfriend sees potential in me for his future. He gave me a book as a present one time and it helped me a lot to be open to ways of surrendering. Since I am Asian and the writer is non-Asian, some things I don't agree but since my boyfriend's also a foreigner and I see the author's ideas fit to his situation, then I can only follow.

It is very difficult. I feel alone in my pursuit as no one taps my back and says, "Hey girl, you're doing it very nicely", or, "Maybe you should lessen this more or how about trying this or that".

I love my boyfriend so dearly, it is why I wanted so much to master the choice of surrendering. Just sometimes it feels difficult especially when there's culture shock. Also, we're now separated by a very long physical distance, what connects us is the internet, that made things more difficult.

But I guess, the road to real success is the rocky path as it teaches many life learnings, so I'm not giving up...Just venting out that I feel heavy at times as it feels excruciating...

Cheers to all others who are now experiencing the joys of surrendering. I hope to follow your footsteps... :)

so do you act how he wants you to?

This is what bring me happiness, so I guess the best way to answer that is, I'm behaving in a manner that brings me great joy in life. :)

:)

It's great to read this post by a wife who has found the joy in surrender. A wife that surrends to her husband invites her marriage to go to the next level - a level characterized by remarkable peace in the home, and a sense of personal fulfilment that goes beyond what can be experienced when wives and husbands reject the traditional roles of "husband in authority" and "wife in submission to husband". Does a submissive wife have to stay home and look after children? Absolutely not! A submissive wife can be a CEO, have no children, earn more money than her husband etc. But yes, she can also be a stay-at-home mom with no independent income of her own. Submission is not about the wife's job or her income - it's about her state of heart and her desire to submit to her husband's authority over her. In fact, she does not even need a dominant, authoritative husband to derive pleasure and fulfilment from respecting and obeying him. It's all about choosing the best kind of marriage and then honoring your choice with action.

Congratualtions, on finding a path that suites you as an individual, and also as a spouse. :) I'll pray, that it continues to work for you.

Hi traditionalwife. The "need for equality" means that when women do the same jobs as men, they get the same salary. And that is what women have been fighting for. And they are starting to get it too. <br />
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It's fine to want to be a woman at home and to respect your man. And to look after the kids. If that's what you can do, and enjoy.<br />
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But there are women out there who DON'T want to be women at home, or who CAN'T stay at home (read: husband ill, or handicapped, or unemployed, etc.) or who CAN't have children, or who choose not to.<br />
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And this is where the equality comes in.<br />
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So that women are treated with respect. And thank God for our ancestors who saw clearly that not all women are homemakers.

Its funny how celebrating my choices in life, and being proud of who I've chosen to become brings about such a reaction in a feminist like yourself. Not once did I knock other women for making the choice to get out there and smash through that glass ceiling. This story was about me celebrating the lifestyle I have chosen. Freedom of choice. A question I would ask you, and any other person who would visit such a forum such as this one, just to be argumentative or bash, Why are you here? Wouldn't your time be served much better connecting with like minded individuals such as yourself? I'm sure there are plenty of forums on EP such as, I hate all those submissive sites such as this. Just a suggestion. After all, I don't surf the forums about adultery, because it simply doesn't pertain to me. Just a thought.

You just had a reaction too. I don't see any argumentative statement or bashing on stephs part. I see u being extremely defensive. You seem to be the rude one. Look at her comment then look at yours. When u r on a website like this your going to get conflict no matter if I think it's the right or wrong thing to right about.

This is a funny one, because this reply was originally posted to another comment that somone left. Perhaps the woman who posted it, removed her comment after the warm welcome she received on my thread (my reply). The woman who deleted her post was in fact, hostile and abusive. I'll keep my reply up, because it does pertain to anyone who surfs forums to bash lifestyles that others choose to pursue. However, please note this IS NOT MY RESPONSE TO THE ABOVE COMMENT, simply because the woman above has chosen to speak her mind in a manner that is not abusive to others. All opinions are valued here, as long as it can be done with respect and compassion. If not, it will not be tolerated.

Well I'd like to repeat what I said. I said it is fine for you to enjoy it, but spare a moment for those women who cannot, and that is also by "choice". This is truly not feminism, although I have to say that feminism is not an obscene word. It is WOMEN (and MEN) making choices based on certain sectors of society who do not have the possibility to stay at home, or who have other things to do. Please don't read negative when I'm staying pretty factual.

By the way, on the subject of choices, I also stand up for my right to choose whatever I choose to read, express or not to.

And as long as your opinions can be made with respect and compassion, they are always welcome on my threads, even if they differ from my own points of view. Variety is the spice of life, what a boring world it would be if everyone was exactly like me, or you for that matter. We all have a great deal to learn from each other. This story is how I choose to live my life. Never once did it suggest that others do the same. Its what works for me. If others want to break through that glass ceiling and become CEO's then GOD bless you!!!

Thank you for such a lovely and loving reply. I don't wish to become a CEO - and respect the right of other women to do so. All power to them. (Incidentally, working for a woman boss is just great). For me, women power (and for that matter, male power) is when we can agree to differ respectfully. Doesn't always happen but well!

It takes a very special man in your life to be able to understand this, much less desire it. Don't bash another woman for finding happiness and total fulfillment in a man. I couldn't imagine it myself but I'm blessed too. Try it. You might find it makes you happier than you've ever been.

4 More Responses

:)

bravomale, thank you. <br />
laserx, I couldn't agree more. I don't understand the need for equality. GOD did not create us to be equal, we are different, so we compliment eachother. My strengths are not his, and vice versa.

Indeed... as soon as you decide to drop the "everything has to be 50-50" mantra and celebrate the unique skills and personal needs of your husband...well, much changes. Its not about equality, balance, fairness. If you spend all day measuring and gauging, life passes you by and you miss out on the celebration of human compassion, love and experience. Hugs!

Your husband a is a very lucky man i wish