Post

Men And Women Are Different!

I spank my wife whenever I think she deserves it and am not ashamed to say it. We are old fashioned and both believe that men are the head of the house and are in charge. She vowed to honor and obey me, so when she doesn't obey, I give her a spanking. I feel it's my right and duty as the husband to love, protect and discipline her. She loves me and respects me as a real man.

I'm not abusive or sexist. Men and women are different. How can a man be the leader without a way to enforce the rules? Look at the divorce rates, they have increased dramatically since feminism started. Before feminists men were expected to provide for and discipline his family members.

Wives need a good spanking once in a while when they get out of line. I give my wife corner time after spankings so she can reflect on the punishment and think about what she did.
Lomaz Lomaz 61-65, M 24 Responses Dec 28, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

Funny all the negative comments. You need to realize most women ask their husbands for this lifestyle. You're not saving women by your negative comments, no one is asking you to participate and really no one cares what you think. Even non spanking households have problems and abusive husband's go troll there.

@ Lomaz

If you are able to make mistakes without someone putting you in a corner or spanking you, then why should your wife not be granted that same courtesy? The best leaders lead by example, not with a heavy hand or something as silly as a timeout in the corner... If you want a real wife, then you have to treat her like one. You have to respect her as a fellow human being... the dearest of friends...SOMEONE YOU LOVE. Suggestion: Treat her like the person you WANT her to be... And watch Johnny Lingo too. ;)

Those of us who submit to loving discipline from our husbands are not silly, or treated with anything more than love and respect.
I am cherished and treasures by my amazing husband. I am incredibly thankful for this lifestyle.

I apologize Tihtil for offending you. But I cannot see how an adult is showing any form of love or respect to their spouse by putting them in a corner, etc. I cannot see how any one adult could have any SELF-respect by "submitting" to their spouse and GOING to a corner. C'mon. Corner time? That is the same thing as putting a child on Time Out. A woman is an adult. Exactly as is a man. It appears to be a game that some adults like to play..this submission thing. Some, I've heard, do it in the name of sexual gratification. Others try to convince themselves, as well as everyone else, that the Bible tells them to do it. (unrighteous dominion)

But please! Call a spade a spade! There is no "loving" anyone in this type of "discipline". It is a neverending TWISTED game that takes couples and distorts them into a parent / child relationship but with sex!

You may not be able to see it but that doesn't mean the love isn't there. After all its not your marriage. You, like many, believe in God don't you? Well nobody can see God either. But if you know god is there, then for you god is there.

Don't apologize to her for being right.

Woman was made from man's rib/side to be equal to him. He has a punching bag and you volunteered. Again, it is domestic violence whether you agree to it or not. It's illegal.

I kind of agree with you but some people have 'issues' that can best be tackled in an agreed power exchange. There is more than one easy to skin a rabbit

A decent person never treats their spouse like a child. They all need therapy.

And what better therapy than a jolly good spanking! LOL

If you are five years old. There is a lot of immaturity in this section. Freud would have a field day with this group.

D'you reckon he'd give a hand spanking or use a paddle?

It's really difficult to "feel strongly" about anti-spanking with Damselfly cracking jokes....

But most definitely welcome...

Put you all in padded cells to protect you from yourself and your bad decisions.

I'm sure a bit of corner time would be enough - padded cells are so hrsh

10 More Responses

You can still be a leader, but you can find a different way to enforce the rules, if they are that important to you. You don't to have physically correct and discipline your wife by spanking her. You choose to. I'm sorry sir, but I just don't get it?!! You are hurting and messing with God's women. God made Eve for Adam as his help mate, not his spank mate. He also made her for Adam, to be Adam's friend, companion, wife, lover, and the mother of their children. God is over man, woman, and child. If God spanked us for every time we disobeyed Him, turned our backs on him and did things our own way, for every sin we've committed against our fellow man, and for every little thing we did wrong, none of us would have any bottoms left to spank, or at least they'd be flat and not round. Human beings are imperfect and that includes men, women, and children. I know a lot of Christian husbands who are the heads of their households. But they treat their wives with love and respect,and they wouldn't dream of physically disciplining them. They have Christ centered marriages, they put him first and foremost in their marriages. Their wives in turn, love respect, honor and cherish them. And don't mention about divorces because they may not obey their husbands in every little thing they might want them too. None of them I know, and I know quite a few,are divorced. In fact, many of them have been married for 30 , 40,or 50 years already. Just because they don't practice CDD or DD doesn't mean their marriage isn't going to last. My best friend and her husband are one of them and they will be celebrating their 50th Anniversary this November. They are the nicest people who want to meet, they love God, they serve him, they grown children, grandchildren, they keep active, they are good to be around with, they have lots of relatives, and friends, and the husband is always funny. He can make anyone laugh, including his wife. My best friend could not handle a CDD or DD relationship. She came from a big family, grew up on a farm and was physically, verbally and mentally abused by her mother mostly. She was not even allowed to talk to her own father, she had to ask permission to brush her own teeth, and to wash her own hair. She lived in fear. She would shiver and shake in bed at night, in her sleep. The next thing she felt when she awoke was the broom handle beating her. Her bedroom was above her parents bedroom. I could tell you so much more, but I'll just leave at this. She is the most beautiful best friend anyone could ever hope to have. Everybody loves her and she loves everybody back. She never physically disciplined any of her kids because she just couldn't after what happened to her in her childhood. No one should have live like that and in that intense of fear. But God was looking out for her, when she met her husband. He is the best thing that ever could have happened to her. He's got heart of gold too and he makes her laugh. She deserves him after all she went through.

Very well said!

Aww, thank you so much, 777heaven! Just three little words and yet they touched my heart and made me feel worthwhile. I've read several of your comments. you're very knowledgeable, and like our friend, gumshoeJane1, you have the brains and the courage to tell it like it is. Bless you, sweetheart!! <3 Hugs!!!

Aww...Thank YOU Char. You're a sweetie as well. Hugs ya right back :)

ditto, Ditto, and DITTO !!! : ) <3 (:

1 More Response

I agree 100% that men should be the head of the household and discipline their wives. It makes for a stronger marriage. My husband paddles me whenever I am disobedient, and our marriage has become stronger. I even ask to be spanked when I know I may slip or need discipline. DD works for me, but it may not work for all.

Men are not meant to be head of household if they beat their wives. That's illegal whether you agree to by beaten or not.

You said wives need a good spanking when they get out of line. Well, husbands need a good spanking when they get out of line then, too. Marriage is a partnership, but I do believe the husband is the head of his wife, marriage and family. Respect for each other goes both ways and what's good for the goose should be good for the gander, as well. When you get married and take your wedding vows, the 2 of you become one.

Husbands need a spanking when they get out of line too.

Exactly Char!

It's been a while Jane. These people and their stupid ideas of love almost stroked me out. I don't remember the last time on I on here, last year some time. I've moved over to the saner section of the site.

I've missed you Pam.

It isn't old fashioned though it is very modern fashioned.

You would hate me with a passion, when men touch me or make me try to submit, I go psycho violent and put them in the hospital.

Bravo! my feelings exactly.

Wait wut? I don't we should fight fire with fire in this situation.

I agree. My husband spanks me when I get out of line. It helps keep me in my place as the woman of the house. I am so proud that he is a good, strong leader for our family. I am proud to serve and obey him. I love him with all my heart, and he loves me.

It wouldn't do for everyone though. Some folks thrive on it, others don't

Your place is wife not child. He treats you as a child and you accept it. What a foolish woman. Why didn't you just stay home with your father and let him whip your ***.

If your proud to serve and obey him why do you need to be kept in line?

Is this forum an exercise in sarcasm? I'm serious. Are you guys serious?

No. If it works for you it works for you.

I love the corner time idea. I'll start incorporating that the next time my girlfriend misbehaves. It adds a beautiful psychological element to it, and would allow the woman in question some time to really incorporate the recent lesson. Beautiful

I agree with you

"Keeping a low profile so as not to be identified speaks to a discomfiture with what you are doing like gays trying to play it straight "
I insist Pam, why would you expose your intimate behavior?? What happens inside my bedroom it's up to me and my husband only. If I don't talk about DD openly is to protect our intimacy and avoid narrow minded people pointing their fingers at us. I guess that's exactly why gay people sometimes prefer concealing their sexual option.
As for sharing thoughts on ep, I find this highly therapeutic and fun. I don't pretend to convince anyone, I just like to share my experiences with like minded people. This means I don't attack and I don't troll orher people's groups just because my options are different.

I agree with you! A year ago, if I had heard of someone with this kind of relationship I'd have to admit I'd be thinking that the woman is sick in the head, or the man is just enjoying a massive power trip. If it wasn't for me stumbling upon this on the internet and being first curious, then intrigued, than wanting to try it for myself ~ I doubt I would ever understand the pull towards this lifestyle. All I know is that my marriage was failing because my husband and I stopped communicating like we used to. He wasn't the man I thought I needed and I wasn't the woman he fell in love with. Unlike some women who have this relationship I was never physically abused growing up. I was however punished in other ways as my Mom liked using psychology to correct me. I never could open up emotionally with my parents like I can with my husband and best friend. I didn't respect my parents ''mind tricks'' on me. I love looking up to my husband and knowing that he is protective of me spirit, soul, and body. And the spankings per-say do not hurt that bad, or at least after a bit the sting goes away. But I feel so submissive and vulnerable with my husband that it makes us feel that much more complete! There is more dynamics than just getting spanked or put in a corner...... and if you like being man handled (I do), it fulfills other aspects to your relationship! I love talking to the like minded women on here! And I like reading what the men have to say about it too! It's great not to have a closed mind. :o)

Well said, anonimacy

spankings and corner time? seriously? lol

mjg1968: ok sorry I guess I don't have the right to write this since it's none of my concern. That's my opinion and everybody has a different opinion about this. Anyway, even though I don't agree with it at all, I respect if you feel ok about it an hope you are happy :)

Isybusy... I'm sorry. I was feeling a little defensive with all the negative comments. You have every right to read and comment on anything. All I meant is please don't feel sorry for TIh wives and gf's because most are happy. I was very independent when I was younger and wasn't very happy. I married young to someone I shouldn't have really been married to and ended up in divorce. I'm in a Tih relationship now and have been happier than I've been in years. I know all Tih relationships aren't all alike either though. Again, sorry I was grumpy about your comment...I'm not usually like that.

Don't worry, you weren't that grumpy :) glad you're happy, that's the most important thing of all!

Thank you so much...

OMG I'm so shocked that nowadays people still agree with this. I don't know what is worse, men spanking their wives or the wives who agree on being spanked. Either way, I feel sorry for both!!!

I don't know why you feel sorry for the women who agree on being spanked. I know, I, being one of those women, don't feel sorry for myself nor do I want anyone feeling sorry for me. I'll speak for myself and say after I've been over his knee I feel very loved and there is so much more to it than that.

no need to feel sorry for anyone, isybusy. People who choose it as a lifestyle and can keep it going feel a great deal of benefit from it

Ignorance is a form of duress. Choice? Or continuing a evolution-inhibiting cycle?

What on earth is an 'evolution-inhibiting cycle'?

It's a type of exercise bike for men. The saddle gradually cuts off the blood supply to the testicles...

Laughing OUT LOUD....

3 More Responses

I agree with what you have said. I know there are women who feel the same and those who don't. The ones that do have a right to live as they choose. I know it works for me in TIH/DD reltionship and it's the happiest I have been in 20 years. My HOH disciplines me when needed and loves me at all times. All is forgiven after and I adore him for it.

As a woman has to serve and please her Man it is necessary she has to be be remind to her status on a regulary basis. So the Men has to spank his female once a week. Moreover each time as the Men notices a lack of servitude he has to punish her at the way he sees fit so she becomes more humble.

Women are not on the planet to serve men.

Men are not on the planet to serve women.

"Spanking" another adult only shows the weakness of the spanker.

Lomaz, I NEVER said they were!

Snowlover,
I am asking you nicely to stop following me. I blocked you a while back and yet you continue to follow and harass me leaving me to suspect you must have at least 2 profiles. If you follow me or harass me again I will report you.

i agree,777heaven, plus it sounds abusive to me. spanking her when he "thinks" she deserves it?

It is important to remember there is a big difference between the meaning of discipline and punishment. Deiscipline means to have control of oneself, punishment is the result of doing a wrong. Many of the writers here refer to being christian and following the bible. No where in the New Testament which overrules the Old Testament is it condoned to use physical force to control your wife. In fact, if we look at one particular story it strongly indicates that following "the Bible" while neglecting to follow civil law is in fact disobeying God. The conversation where Jesus is asked about paying tribute to Caesar is often misunderstood. His response of render to Caesar etc. actually was very clever. As God controls all things only by his will does civil government exist and have power over its citizens. Therefore, to follow civil law is to follow the word of God. In the case "disciplining wives" there are civil laws against abuse. If one of these women were to be in an accident after a spanking and ended up in the hospital and the staff saw bruises on her the staff would have to report this as domestic violence. In some states, even if the woman decides not to press charges the police are obligated to press charges in her name. Some stories have indicated that the woman can be bound and forced to perform sex with her husband against her will. This is called "marital rape". Because laws against both abuse and rape are civil and exist only because God allows it, to disobey civil law is to disobey God's law. Men do not have a leg to stand on. However, if women here agree with this treatment, it is important to remember they and their spouse will not be prosecuted by the Bible but by civil law which is subject to God's law.
Many here may think I am anti-submission, which is far from the truth. But I am pro-respect. If a man would not spank his mother, even if she asked, because he is bound by the fourth commandment to honor his mother, then he is obligated to honor his wife in the same manner. If a man strikes his mother for whatever reason he disrespects and dishonors her. Differences of opinion between a man and wife are not disobedience. You will not change the minds of these people, so don't try. It's a lost cause. Respect their right to their opinions even if you don't agree and realize, in the end, once civil law has dealt with them, and they are standing in front of God, and he asks them about their behavior on earth, they will be forced to admit they broke his laws by breaking civil laws.

Well said Pam!

Thank you.

Exactly, Lomaz. It is called 'equality'.

7 More Responses

If you are a women that has not agreed that the man in your life should spank you then there is nothing that I could say that would change your mind about my spanking my wife. If you are a women that has agreed with the man in your life. That he should spank you then there is nothing that I could say that would change your mind about my spanking my wife. Because my wife's agreement with me is different. From the understanding you have with your man.

Please, don't breed.

We can see from your profile that no one has allowed you to breed. For obvious reasons. Now get out of our groups you Troll

Mr. Lomaz!

With regards, i would like to ask you a question, have you ever read a book about leadership. Or have you yourself had spanking sometime, it hurts, it really does. I don't know what your wife feels but being a leader do you feel you are god and you never make any mistakes.

As a wife i love when my husband( the leader of our family) talks to me about my mistakes and that makes me understand no spanking or punishment can mend a lady, you really need to understand that when you think your wife is having a reflect as you call it, she may be cursing herself for marrying a man who never understands or even worse. i really felt bad reading ur story how could you even think like that. Hope you get well soon...

Have you ever read the book:
"Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns."
Read that before you cast more stones...

I agree with the writer but only if the woman chooses that way of life. It is not the right of a man to assume his leadership but the right of a woman to give it as her gift to him. I have had abuse from feminists as being a traitor but my reply is freedom means the right to give up some freedom if you choose to. A soldier gives up many freedoms on joining the army and a woman may hand her submission to her husband in the same way.

By jointing choosing a marriage where the husband leads and the wife submits, both husband and wife are offering each other precious gifts of authority and submission, respectively. For the marriage to be enriched by living this way, the husband has to OFFER his authority as a gift to his wife, and the wife in turn must OFFER her gift of submission to her husband. This exchange of powerful gifts creates a relationship where trust abounds, sex is awesome, and each partner feels fulfilled.

I agree that men and women are different. And as a woman I'm glad that my husband sees fit to put me over his knee and give me that spanking I deserve when I get mouthy, bratty or have an attitude. I just feel so much better afterward.

Did your father not raise you correctly that as an adult you need a man who is about your age to spank you? Physical violence is never okay. I know you say you choose this, but it seems as though someone who chooses to be hurt is from an abused lifestyle to begin with and does not understand that marriage is a partnership.

If that is the relationship you choose to have with your husband then that is the way it should be.

Firewell...I agree

Rates comment up

so, you like being spanked? isn't it supposed to me some kind of punishment? then I don't understand how women in your same position could ever like it... are you less worth than your husband? men have always been the leaders of the world because they are stronger than we are, but over the years us women have understood that we have our brains, much more developed than men, and of course we are different, but we should be treated equally in same situations. I could not even hit a poor dog, that is horrible enough, but spanking a human? seriously? I wish women in this position had more self esteem and knew that they deserve so much more than that... cause the best marriage in my opinion is the one where husband and wife are in the same position and work as a team. If a guy spanked me, I would punch him in his ******* face without hesitating a second, and that's not being a feminist at all, it's believing that every human, no matter if man or woman, has their dignity and should be treated with respect!

excellent comment Isabusy. I agree 100%

2 More Responses

I am an obedient wife, and I totally agree with you. I know that my husband is in total control of his family and his house. It is an honor to be spanked when I disobey him, and I long to be punished when I foolishly forget that he is my master and the one in charge. If more wives would admit that they need to obey thier husbands, the divorce rate would be lowered and these women who do not listen to reasoning would realize the you are correct in being the leader of your home. Thank you for story.

I'm glad you obey your husband and treat him with love and respect, because he's your leader and in charge in your marriage, but he is not your master. God is and God is your husband's master too. If people would only worry about disobeying God by what they do, there wouldn't be any reason for spankings. You are human and you are going to make mistakes. Why do you consider it an honor to have him spank you? Aren't you able to have some self discipline? Does your husband pray to God and ask him to help him decide the right kind of correction for you or does he take it upon himself to decide what your punishment should be? What would Jesus do? You can bet your bottom dollar he wouldn't like your husband to be harsh with you. Your husband is in charge of you, his wife, your marriage and the head of your household, and God wants wives to submit to (yield and obey their husbands. God gave man that right and that responsibility. But God also wants husbands to be the spiritual leader in their families. Husbands are suppose to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself up (his life) for it. If husbands love their wives like that, it would be so easy to submit to respect, love, honor, obey and cherish their husbands. Also, when you both got married, you took your sacred wedding vows and the two of you became one flesh. So, when he punishes you, he is also punishing his own flesh, because the two of you are one now, even though he doesn't feel it, because he's the one inflicting you with pain on your bottom. What man wants to punish his own body? None that I know of. Only the ones who were severely punished with corporal punishment as children, teens, etc. I think both men and women who went through this more severe corporal punishment in their younger years, liked the feeling it gave them afterwards, it left scars on them mentally, and they carried it in to adulthood. I think of that story in the Holy Bible (John, Chapter 8) of the woman who was caught in the act of adultery. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought her to the temple court, where Jesus was teaching to the people who had gathered around him. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. Jesus said to them, " If any one of you is without sin, let him begin stoning her." At this, those who heard began to go way one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." With God, nothing is impossible. God is perfect love, compassion, and forgiveness personified. Let us all do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Husbands, if you must discipline your wives, please don't do it when you're angry and please don't be harsh with them even if they want you to be. They need your love and they need to love you without fear of retribution and pain. Making love to each other can get rid of stress, too, a lot easier than a spanking can. They're human, just like you. Remember, it's vital that you will have to answer to God someday for how you treated your wives and family. It falls on you as the head of your household.

I didnt mean it how you seemed to take it, and Im certainly NOT saying your being abusive or sexist, its just we are doing this thingy at school about men and women and the differences and when I saw this, I just wanted to ask a question, that was all.

Hi, littlemissprettyperfect,
I believe the original poster is sexist, perhaps even a misogynist. Why else would he feel he has the right to treat his wife like a child or subordinate?
Most marriages have husbands and wives as equals, leading the household as a team together. Yes men and women are different, but they are truly more alike then different.

With all due respect, what exactly are these men protecting us from? I mean I don't see wild animals roaming around. All females have the good judgement to avoid dangerous back alleyways and the like. I just think this protection stuff is over rated. I'd rather have my dignity and freedom.
I will respect your choice.

It should be noted that this perceived notion that women are some how built to be submissive is completely false. The only reason that women tend to be more submissive than men is because of cultural factors, were women are expected to be submissive and men are expected to be dominant, and if either does not follow such models they are ridiculed by society. The difference between women and men is purely cultural, with the exception of being able to dive birth and a few other aesthetic differences

Instead of thinking of more obvious physical threats like wild animals and muggers lurking in dark alleys, consider that the husband may be offering his wife AND his marriage protection from something less tangible. Consider the possibility that the husband, as leader, also bears the ultimate responsibility for protecting his marriage from breaking down. Wouldn't a wife who desires to stay married to the man she loves invest in her marriage? What if the cost of investment was a spanking for doing something that threatened the peace in the home, the trust between them, or the integrity of the marriage? A wife who chooses to submit to her husband (and a spanking, if he believes this is the best way) is recognizing that the short-lived sting in her butt is a small price to pay for keeping her marriage fresh and rewarding.

Could you please tell me how a husband giving his wife a spanking will keep "her" marriage fresh and rewarding? It will keep her sore, that's for sure, and I say that because, it won't end at just one spanking, there will more of them, if her husband, as the leader in their marriage, says so. And it's more than just the wife having a short-lived sting in her butt, because if that's all it was, there wouldn't be so much emphasis on all the different implements the husband can buy and use to punish her, and what type and amount of sting they cause. What happened to the words "our marriage"? It's not just "her marriage" or "his marriage" I mean, how can a husband, who is suppose to love, honor, cherish and protect his wife, feel that he has the right to take his wife over his knees, bare her bottom, spank her, hurt her and make her cry her eyes out from the pain he's causing her, justify it and still feel good about himself? Ask yourself, what would Jesus do?

lol to the post above. I am not a sexists nor do I have a strong opinion in if a women should or should not submit to a man. I must say though that the differences between men and women are not only based on cultural factor, the cultural factors are based on natural fact. Like the fact that MOST women are smaller then men. I am not about to say what that does or does not prove, but I must say that the differences between men and women are NOT only cultural. Read up on some science or anatomy before you go about pretending to know what you are talking about please.

Old fashioned marriage,
If my husband dared spank me, he would wake up the next day with his clothing on the front lawn and divorce papers in his cereal bowl! I am not a child, and I do not require his guidance nor his leadership.
We are equals in our marriage and he had better not forget that!

4 More Responses

Can I ask, what makes you think that men are more superior over women?

Your opinion is a typical feminist view. Missreading every word a man says. I'm not abusive or sexist. Never said that men are more superior than women or better than women. Men and women are different. With different needs.

So women need to be hit?

No not hit. Wives need to be spanked.
There is a difference. Getting spanked is usually consensual. Getting hit with a fist is usually not.

Lomaz,
If my husband spanked me there would be HELL to pay!
I am not a child and he is NOT my superior.
If he spanked me, he would get a spanking back and divorce papers served up on a silver platter!

Jane, saying that sure doesn't make it sound like you love your husband. One false move and he's out the door. Do you consider it proper for a husband to have that same mindset toward his wife?

cc,
There are a few things I will not tolerate in marriage and "spanking"and physical violence of any sort are not acceptable. I don't do well with yelling or screaming either.
See I don't view my husband as my superior, leader, or HoH therefore he has no right to treat me as anything other than his equal partner.
If I suddenly started "spanking" or disciplining my husband without his consent then i would expect he'd be pretty darn upset as well.
I am assertive in my marriage, my needs and feelings are just as important as his are.

You dodged my question. How would you feel if his policy toward toward you was one false move and he's off to the divorce lawyer?

TIH relationships (spanking) are usually initiated by the wife. We all have needs, our needs differ from person to person. What I need from my relationship can not be compared to what you need from your relationship. Neither one of us is wrong, just different, its that simple. Most of these men are approached by their wives/girlfriends to pursue this lifestyle. Most of these men are not bullies or weak. They are kind, loving, devoted men who are willing to step outside the box (what society deems as "normal") to fulfill the desires of the woman they love and adore. I am so lucky to have a husband who is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy and complete. I in return would do the same for him. My husband has never done anything against my will, nor would he. Respect for each other is a mutual gift. There are women out there who are smart, witty, who have it together, who have never been abused, who want this lifestyle. Thank God, for the strong, capable, self assured men who fit the bill. Not every man is a worthy leader, but there are amazing men out there who can be, for the women out there who want and need it.

Newsflash : it's time for the domestic discipline movement to disband. All of its members must henceforth regard themselves as imbeciles needing one wiser than themselves to do their thinking for them. That wiser one is pam36344. All that DD people have felt they have learned from their own years of experience must now be discarded in favor of the incomparably superior wisdom of the great pam36344. DD persons can only humbly hope that pam36344 will not be stingy in making herself available to give them the guidance in all of life's twists and turns which they cannot possibly rely on themselves or mortals lesser than her to provide.

Pam,
I agree wholeheartedly with you. Don't even bother responding to snowlover, he is as nasty as they come.

Michelle,
I have to ask, why so defensive? To an outsider looking in this lifestyle appears extraordinarily abusive and misogynistic.

Michelle,
Ever wonder why misogynists and mra's seem to gravitate to tih and dd lifestyles?
Think about it.

It's a pity that the original pam34366 's posts are gone. That would have answered your question to Michelle, Jane. I'm afraid she was extremely disrespectful with our FREE choice of living this way, treating all of us as weak women and even doubting our mental sanity.
I know it takes time and a lot of thinking and reading to understand why this works for us. But I think it's only respectful to leave comments that would contribute to a proper debate, otherwise you're only upsetting everybody and don't prove a thing...

Jane, it's rich for you to speak of my friend Michelle as overly defensive about her lifestyle when you are one of the primary persons on the warpath against it on EP. Remember when Jesus spoke about removing the log from your own eye first before dealing with the speck in your brother's eye? There is something that is just deeply nauseating about someone with blatant hostile feelings toward the opposite sex such as you have (http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Believe-Women-Should-Obey-Their-Husbands/2532564#comment_embed, one of numerous examples on EP) going around promiscuously accusing others of "misogyny". Your assertions of "misogyny", like those of other feminists, should not be taken seriously at all. At one point you said you were trying to shed those negative feelings. I hope you will return to that and drop your self-righteousness. Also you should have noticed there is no overlap at all on EP between men who speak of being doms and MRAs. If you look in the MRA groups you don't find postings by the former.

I don't understand why anyone would choose this way of life. Saying that it is everyone's right to live as they choose and i do know male submissives who live this lifestyle as well.
I had to come to Pam's defence because i can see why she feels the way she does, looking in from the outside this sort of thing looks terrible, really. Folks like Michelle seem extremely defensive to me, that is all.
I personally had no idea that this sort of lifestyle existed in this day and age and when i first heard of it due to my ep travels, I was horrified and shocked. I have come a LONG way since then, especially after talking to both sub wives and dom husbands. I will say that they are among the sweetest people here on ep (especially the wives).
I have known a heck of a lot of misogynists who support or are sympathetic to this lifestyle. kavemankayl for example has a number of women he orders around and openly proclaims himself a HoH. Knightrunner a well known MRA once proclaimed himself HoH. You yourself are both an MRA and a supporter of the tih lifestyle. There are others but I am still recovering from Christmas dinner with the family so my memory is sketchy at the moment.

Thanks for directing me to that story by hhue. Masterlee is yet another misogynist whom is sympathetic to the tih lifestyle. Of course it is perfectly okay for men to be HoH's but a crime if the roles are reversed right? Pot. Kettle. Black.
yeah I said something pretty ugly back there but you know what? I was angry. I wouldn't choose this way of life and that's okay just as it is okay for people to choose how they want to live. Promoting it as a way of life for every woman on the planet is wrong.How come LAV can say the most hateful, ugliest things and you don't call him on it??? Dozerdan is another mean one. Knightrunner has had his day as well. Those guys get a free ride, why is that?

If I could change that original comment I would take out the word "ugly". It was unkind of me to refer to gonads as "ugly". I hope any gonads who were offended by my comment can accept my apology. Other than that i still stand by my original comment, though passionate and angry it is how I feel. You and your kind can deal with it.

These people remind me of the sickness of 50 Shades of Grey which has psychiatrists extremely upset because it is giving young girls the idea that type of relationship is healthy. My point also has been not to glorify this way of life and as you said promote it to every woman on the planet. Thanks for your support Jane

The whole comment, not just the word "ugly", was hateful. and I continue to insist you have no moral authority for passing judgment on others about attitudes toward the opposite sex. In case you haven't noticed, LAV and I don't get along all that smoothly. I find his excesses annoying. I only remember him making personal attacks against ladyblue. When he she asked me to contact him in his deviantproxy account, I told him he was putting himself at risk and that he was all wet saying she was a 12 year old girl. I also told greenbare he was putting himself in danger before he got deleted. I hear LAV has made other personal attacks, but I was not a witness to them. Knightrunner has responded favorably when I have urged him to edit intemperate comments.

I soppose it was hateful, my apologies to anyone who was offended.
Pam, you are welcome. :)

@Jane, it's a way of life that is supremely beneficial. I often can't imagine what the man gets out of it; it ALL seems to be for ME and I'm just grateful that mine is still interested enough to want to motivate and pep me. It's not about brutal beatings, coercion, subjugation or violence; it's about trust, communication, blazing passion... and brutal beatings. LOL

Actually I identify with the matriarchal elephant that runs her herd with logic and feircely protects it. She also has the right to run out the male elephants once they reach a certain age and have been properly trained by her.

Pam I sooo understand you.

Sapphire,
Thank you for taking the time to explain the dynamic in a lot more detail for me. Knowing that you are a feminist and a strong woman and understanding that you have chosen this relationship style affords me a level of assurance. I am coming to understand that tih relationships are extremely multi faceted and complex. There is much more to this relationship than what lays on the surface. Also thank you for reminding me that it is not just about punishment and discipline.

Damselfly,
Thank you for explaining to me all the benefits that the female in these tih relationships receives. Knowing that you are a feminist and a strong woman does very much provide me with a degree of comfort.
My mind goes to the very worst case scenario and then when I read story after story which seem to romanticize discipline and spankings complete with welts and the like being delivered with loopy johnny's and leather belts... well I get a little queasy.
Thank you again, sometimes we all need a little reminding.

 I loved both sapphire 's and damsel's comments. And I'm glad they were useful to you, Jane.As for Pam's comments, well, it's been a while since bdsm, Ds, etc., etc., are no longer considered an issue in the psychiatric field. Having this "kinks " don't mean someone is unstable per se. Once upon a time (not so long ago) homosexuality was also considered a mental deviation as well. I guess it's the same with us. Yes, we are weird to common eyes but we're not sick. Most of us are functional, responsible and caring mothers. And I bet you wouldn't be able to identify us "in the open "

Seriously you haven't been keeping up with the latest articles especially since 50 shades became a best seller. Psychiatrist are worried about the affect on gullible young women. Its been all over the news.Keeping a low profile so as not to be identified speaks to a discomfiture with what you are doing like gays trying to play it straight when they are not in their environment.

Actually, fifty shades is an interesting topic of study. No, I don't keep up on those news because I live in Latin America and the book is not such a big thing here.
Keeping a low profile to us means this is an intimate part of our lives. You don't expose your intimacy, right? Yes, we're a TIH couple, but we are much more than that : we're parents, professionals, friends and active members of our community. Are we insane?? I don't think so... we are a happy marriage. We've been together since high-school, we love each other still.
As for gays "playing straight " when out of their "environment " Ewww.. I think that's an homophobic comment. Actually, it's offensive to me.

Shouldn't be offensive. Some of my best friends are gay as was my father. They love me I love them and I see them as people not sexual orientation. But having worked with many gays and lesbians I know for a fact they would prefer not to have their preferences be known and have personally asked me to keep it on the down low. Because I care about them as people I respect their wishes.

Jane...comment rated up!

777,
Thank you my friend. :)

@Sapphire - you always have such cogent and balanced views. I appreciate you and I am pleased that you are in my circle :-)

@anonimacy - the more I see of you, the more I note what a sweetie you are

Faults are thick where love is thin.

30 More Responses