Thinking Yourself Up And Down And Up Again

I am an optimist with high ideals, big ideas, and abundant energy.  As a little girl I was encouraged to put my energy toward setting goals and finding ways to attain them.  My family of high-achievers all shared the same belief about thinking through a situation and literally "thinking yourself to the top."  With that principle I learned to think of myself as confident, competent, and valuable. 

It was easy to become what I thought.  I didn't realize until recently now hard that is for some people.

My husband is highly intelligent, organized, and exceptionally skilled with his hands - - building things, fixing things, creating things.  As a little boy he was told he was stupid and worthless by his family.  Teachers and friends tried to contradict that negative influence by telling him he was smart and capable.  It was confusing at best. 

Eventually he grew up and began thinking he was smart, capable, and could do much more than he'd been told.  It took him years to think of himself as someone special with plenty to offer society.  When he did, he discovered he could do whatever interested him and excelled at everything he tried.

Together we thought of ourselves as fun, interesting, and creative people.  And we were.

Then he was injured in an accident and started thinking he would never be able to do all the things he'd done before.  By the time he healed he was convinced.  Although he physically could have done everything exactly the same as before the accident, his thinking, his mental state, held him back.  He had trouble with a few tasks and thought he was useless.  That led to thinking he couldn't do even simple things, and it wasn't long before he did almost nothing.

He no longer thought he was worth anything.  And he wasn't.

Recently a family member needed assistance and my husband thought he was the best one to help.   A few days went by - - time to think about what  happened - - and my husband began thinking he had something to offer society after all.  He began thinking positively about who he wanted to be, what he needed to change, and what goals he might achieve. 

He hasn't reached all his goals yet, but he thinks he can.  I think he can too.  He will.
 

woogie1 woogie1
56-60, F
Jul 29, 2010