What Ever Happened to the Kid In Me?

We have all heard "life is short-live it up".   Life is even shorter than that when you try to live it alone.  The next thing you know you are over 40 and life (or maybe more exactly, the thrills and experiences) is well on the way to being over.  Or is it?

I have also heard "life is what you make it".  I can spend my life being miserable and regretting what I didn't get a chance to do or I can meet life head on and make it more what I would like it to be... right now.

Yes life seems short; and even shorter when you are trying to fill all of your cravings and desires alone while all the time looking backward or forward to see what not to do. 

Life is always better when shared.  Life is all about relationships.  The more we put into them, the more we get back.  But this can't be our motivation if we are truly ever going to enjoy another person and thereby enrich our lives perhaps even 100-fold.  There is a definite exponential value to sharing.   There is also a definite, progressive loss in hoarding and being alone. 

"Variety is the spice of life".  If this is so, why are so many people alone in this world? After pondering this for several years, I now believe being alone when there is so much to experience is due at least in part to choice.  Those who are alone are that way because they choose to be.  They are challenged by freedom and even more challenged by the expression of that freedom.  Challenged, that is, until they meet a person to share their deepest desires with and maybe even experience some of those desires-a person who comes in not by accident to affect a helping hand.  But even then, the alone person spends the rest of their life trying to trust this person enough to even share the minutest inner desires.  The alone person can either choose to embrace the balance put in front of them or refuse it; depending on how deeply entrenched that person already is in aloneness.

"The best things in life are free"  Nothing can open the door to more freedom like true love and intimacy-freely shared and freely received.  Life is either an on-going adventure or a prison for society's rejects who just "cant seem to fit in anywhere".  Yes our society has severely limited the freedom of these repressed; oppressed and, of course, depressed individuals-people who are just too far out there with no way to express their desires.  No way out is in sight for the "extreme" individual- that is until this person finally comes face to face with  the catalyst that somehow has the power to bring them out.  But even then, there is choice to stay within the confines of depression and self-pity or to rise to the occasion and harness the fun together...

The true answer to most of life's challenging questions is usually found in the tension between the extremes.  Balance will also avail a healthy, adventurous and very fulfilling relationship if we choose it.



PiratedePassion PiratedePassion
41-45, M
2 Responses Feb 10, 2009

Yep I agree with Newse-good points. My life at the moment consists largely of work eat and sleep with a little sports on tv and hangin out with the kids a little bit. Life IS what you make it. Sometimes we just settle for less.

Geez. You two need to get out more often.<br />
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Alone is appropriate on occasion, but falling into the alone thing out of fear or lack of desire or simple depresson, is crazy. Being around people does not mean you have to live with them or marry them or spend all of your time with them.<br />
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Take a shower, dress up, go someplace "alive" every day after working hours and on days off. On my days off, I cannot wait to get out of the house! .....and start talking to people.... and don't stop until you find the person you can talk to comfortably and whom you trust or admire.<br />
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Then get to know that person's friends. Soon your circle widens.... and as one friend of mine put it, "pretty soon you are.... OVER YOUR SELF". Get on with it.<br />
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Most good business people will tell you that no one listens to you until you turn 35. Life over 40 is far more enjoyable than life under-40.... its more of everything - quality everything - but pleasure becomes the top priority. Or, at least you should focus on that goal every morning when you get out of bed.<br />
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You want a quality, purpose filled life - you have to stiffen you backbone, plan it, and work at it. Commit to life - not people.<br />
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Being over-40 is extremely rewarding - over-50 gets even better.... when you reach that age you will be shocked at how many young people listen to you, admire you, and - yes - even desire you sexually because of your level of experience and boldness.<br />
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If sex is a measure, I have had more (by sheer numbers) intimate, rewarding sexual experiences AFTER 40 than before. Don't just sit around getting fat and listless. Work at it a bit.... you'll see. And if you work at it and don't see it, maybe you need counseling and a regular dose of lithium.<br />
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Whatever it takes. You have just one life to live my friends. Live it well.... and use experiences and others (...including psychiatrists...) as stepping stones to make it happen for you. Nothing in life is forever. I had to promise myself that I would never grow up, and found there is no need to lose your childish nature.<br />
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"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever." That sign hangs over the doorway to my kitchen as a daily reminder that every little experience is yours to borrow while you're on the planet - but you have to learn to give back freely and with happiness, and to not take "self" too seriously in the process. Get on with it. You'll see.