My Best Friend Broke My Heart

Hello, I am new to the site, but wanted to share something I am struggling with right now. This may be a bit long in order to get all the information and history in it, but I will do my best not to ramble.

To start with, I have had my share of heartbreaks. When I was 24 I met the love of my life. Even after 3 years of dating, he could still give me butterflies in the stomach just by walking into the room. I truely loved him, and best of all, I knew he truely loved me. One day while out riding his motorcycle a truck ran a light, and killed him instantly. The pain was unbearable, and even now, 15 years later, I still miss him and have dreams about him. It took my over 2 years to even think of dating someone, and I finally did, ended up marrying the man, having twins, and then ended up divorcing him due to him being rather emotionally abusive. (Nothing I did was ever right, etc, never stood up for me, all in all he just wasn't a "partner" in life. I always felt like he never worked with me, but rather against me).
Anyhow, after my divorce, I became very close with a man whom I had been friends with for a few years. We tried dating, but it didn't work out (he was with another woman) We ended up becoming close friends. For the last 10 or so years he has been like my brother, we have travelled together, he has called me in the middle of the night when he has had too much to drink so I could give him a ride. He was a man I could trust. I loved him and he loved me. We were each other's family (if that makes sense) He had dated a few woman during that time, but they never worked out, and he admitted to me that he was in love with me. I told him I couldn't trust him after cheating, and I really couldn't date someone I couldn't trust. He understood, and I backed off a bit in the hopes that he could find someone if I wasn't always around After a while, he told me that he didn't want to lose the great friendship we had, and that he moved on and knew we couldn't date. After that, he would date some woman here and there, he would come to me for advice, which I would do my best at giving to him, and our friendship was incredibly strong. Whenever he needed a friend or help, I was there, and visa versa. There is a lot of history with us as friends, but I am leaving this out, otherwise this would go on forever.
Anyhow, a few months ago, he met a girl, who he seemed to really like, and I was estatic for him. I told him to not do stupid things like drink too much and end up kissing another woman, and to be open and honest with her. He seemed very happy, and I was happy for him. I didn't call him very much in order to not upset the new girlfriend. (We used to talk every day) The only time I had really called was when Sandy hit, just to make sure he was ok and safe.
A week after he had called me and told me that he had to "do right by his girlfriend and really couldn't be around me anymore" He was very curt, but I told him I understood and would not call him much in order to not cause problems. We talked for a little while after that and I told him about this great job opportunity I was going for. He told me good luck and to let him know. After that I didnt call him and he didnt call me.
A month ago, I had texted him that I had gotten that huge job I was going for. I received a text back saying "I don't care, I never want to speak to you again." I didn't understand the hostility and asked why. He replied that I was a "piece of crap and should leave him alone" We have always talked through things, so I asked him to call me and tell me what was going on. I received a text back saying "You are jealous of my new girlfriend because she is better than you!" It turned out it was his girlfriend sending me texts from his phone. She then called me from his phone and told me he never wants to talk to me again, that she is who he loves and I should leave him alone so they can"try to make things" work. She hung up on me, and then they blocked me number from his phone, he de friended me on Facebook and blocked me there, and even went so far as to change his phone number. The weird thing is, I keep getting these random texts from websites that say things like "You aren't worthy of love" and I even received text from some free picture website that was a picture of them with the words "True Love"
Yes, he is obviously not a true friend for this to happen, but I still can't get over the pain of what he has done to me. After 11 years of friendship, he won't even speak to me, just brushed me off like I am some criminal. Mutual friends told me he changed his phone number and told them it was because I was stalking him. It upsets me, because after that night I never called him except to ask them to please stop the harassing text messages (actually I sent an email about it), and they are the ones who won't leave me alone (or rather, she won't)
Obviously we can never be friends again, why would I want a friend like that. However, why can't I get over this hurt? I feel physically sick over it, and there is nothing that could change it. I feel ultimately shattered and don't know if I could trust someone like that again.

Thanks for listening to me.
ZyZan ZyZan
36-40, F
4 Responses Jan 21, 2013

I can so relate to this! I've lost my 2 of my best friends since we were 15 to "the wife" who has demanded they have no contact with me..and is just vicious about me , i.e no courtesy...I do my best to offer him/her prayers of happiness and console myself with the consolation that perhaps it is in the best interest of their marriage that they not have contact with me...but it is so frigging hard...l'm so sorry and I feel your pain.

The new girlfriend doesn't sound stable in the first place...I would guess she is the driving force behind it all and i would wonder how much he even knows went on. His whole reaction might be based on misinformation from her, but obviously you are better off just staying away from it all. All that being said, there ARE good people out there, and you will find one...and trust will come, albeit slowly. Good luck!

Thanks for sharing your story. There are so many good people out there, including you. When the time is right, you'll trust again. btw, congrats on your new position!

Its really not you its him and her. The best thing you do is not response at all and try and forget him. You're still hurt because you never got an explaination for him personally. You got to remember that people disappoint each other all the time. Stop waiting for closure from him. Stop letting them dicate how you should feel,,,,stop waiting,,,stop waiting.

I am actually not waiting for him to respond, I do realize that it isn't going to happen., not do I even want it to happen. Nothing will be solved, it won't make what he did to me any less painful. I guess my biggest issue is how do I trust someone again when the one person in the world I trusted the most just turned around and walked away, without giving me the decency of saying goodbye? And not only did he just walk away, he is giving her all my information and she is harassing me.