Lost Control

They say purging is more of a control thing. Maybe that's how it started for me. It seemed foolproof. When you break your fast; purge it up. When you're too lazy to exercise; purge. Ate too much? Purge it up. Is it a control thing? Because it's triggering. This EDNOS.. it's strange. It's not anorexia. It's not bulimia. It's something that starves for a half day, and binges the other half. Maybe I was just sick of feeling bad, because I had no willpower. It was my own fault, really. Should've resisted. No control. Purging. Now we get to purging. Purging. It's not a control thing, because I even fail at purging. It works a little. Purge a little. But there's always more food. Failing at throwing up.
FibreglassWings FibreglassWings
26-30, F
Nov 28, 2012