Finally

after3 months, i finally can do it again. i think about it all of the time. but never have time anymore. someone is always home. it frustrates me. I got told i lost weight. i was happy. but i wasnt throwing up. until today. i got home from volleyball and ate dinner waited til my dad left. then took a shower and got ready and went and grab a large chocolate bar. and water. threw it down and went to the bathroom. put my fingers down my throught. well 4th time is the charm i guess. the difference from tonight that its unlike others, i kept throwing up. all i had to do was cough a little hard and out it came. is it crazy i really like this feeling? that i feel i deserve for my eyes to be bloodshot and watery? its my mind.....