I Promised Myself I Wouldn't.

It all started when my mom gave me a what to eat and what not to eat book for Christmas.I got highly affened by it and ran up to my room Christmas day crying - let alone to say I was 10 at the very least when this happened.

In 7th grade I HAD to sit with people that made fun of my weight - told me I should go on a diet.

Girl: "You should loose weight. Why do you eat like that?"
Me: "Eat like what?"
Girl: Eat those bag of chips."
Me:"These are baked they aren't that bad."
Girl:"Well they wouldn't be so bad if you didn't eat so much."
Me:" I eat this much because I have horseback riding in a couple of hours and want to get some food into my system.'
Girl: "You don't need food. You need to go exersise without eating food so you can lose weight. All you do is sit on a horse."
Me: " Why are you telling me I should lose weight. Just because your trying to lose weight dosen't meant that I have to - I happy with just the way I look."
Girl:" At least I'm trying to lose weight."
Me:"If you lose too much weigt you'll die."
Girl:" I can lose as much weight as I want and I will never die."
Me:"Really lets in 10 years who ends up in the graveyard. Me who eats or you who starves yourself because you will never be happy with how you look!"
Girl: "Whatever."

From that day I promissed myself no matter what people say about my weight I will never let it get to me. Ever!

In 7th grade my jeans were about a size 2 to 4 which I was fine with.

The following year my friend points out to me that she thinks I'm annorexic becuase I never eat. Only she didn't know that I ate excessivley when I got home from school till the point where I felt like purging - which I have done before but I have learned to manage to control form happening. One day week I went home and at a loaf of bread a day plus more and still managed to be the same size I was. My dad was so concered he stopped getting bread and told me if I kept on eatting like that I was going to get fat.

9th Grade:

Join athletics for the first time.

Tries to get diagnossed with binge eating disorder but doctors claim it's normal to eat like that to where you feel like purging.

Does excel calorie intake project - finds out eats under 1,000 calories a day when needed 2,400.

Goes to buy a dress for homecoming - has to get a size two altered because it's too big.

Pants are too big now

Gets compliments from grandma from losing weight - grandma also says if you weren't in athletics you would be fat. (So were you saying I was fat till now!?!?!)

ALWAYS HUNGRY!


Be careful what you say to people. I have mediceine to take for when I feel like purging but I refuse to take it. Please watch your words. I still look at myself as fat. I am now finding myself looking in the miorro everymorning looking at myself as fat.

NicolePear NicolePear
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 16, 2012

Such mean kids!

I feel like my story is the same, yet opposite. You said you were a size 2-4. I have never been that small. In 7th grade I was a size 13. Nobody called me fat but I hated myself. I never tried to stop eating and I never worked out. Around 10th grade is when I started playing tennis and working out. I dropped some weight but I am still a size 8-10. Just recently I have developed a binge eating problem and I dont know what to do to stop it. I feel your pain, and I can assure you, you were not fat. A size 4 is not at allllll fat. I wish people werent so rude!