I Cant Stop

Maybe I dont really want to stop. In one way I hate doing it and I always regret it and hate myself intensly for doing it but in another way, it keeps me going. Its become a part of who I am and Im scared that im nothing without it. Im just so afraid that there is nothing to me except my binge/purge cycle like that defines who I am, my moods. But maybe its the reason im failing college and losing my friends and not even feeling like part of my family anymore. idk.

pine90apple pine90apple
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 24, 2009

Thank-you. =)<br />
xx

LordVoldermort is right, it is the effect of the problems, not the cause. You have to look at the underlying problems. <br />
I used to binge, but I stopped. It was a while ago. I'm not sure how I stopped, I just did. I think it was starting martial arts that saved me. I wanted to get good at it and to do that, you have to be healthy. It's positive for the mind as well as the body and give you something to focus on.<br />
I hope things work out for you. The binge/purge cycle does not define you. Who you are is how you treat others what you are inside. Just remind yourself that you are a person first and foremost and the binging is a symptom of a problem that you can overcome.

I binge in food, when I am not feeling right. It is not the cause of problems but the effect of them.<br />
<br />
There are times in life that we need to be alone and figure things out, maybe that's why you don't want to be with your friends right now.