Harsh Husband Hurts Hearts of Kids
My husband always had a problem with anger. He would yell at me or criticize me when we were just in the dating stage and I would laugh at him bkz I thought he couldn't possibly be serious. I would make light of his bruskness and serious anger and then he seemed to chill a bit. After we got married and had kids, he'd get angry over the simplest things, like if our 2 yr old spilled his milk or tipped his chair back. My husb would get furious bkz he had already told our child not to do this. Well, I tried to tell him kids don't remember things like that when they are so young but he wouldn't listen. I suggested books to read, shared what I was reading, suggested counseling, but all to no avail. He didn't feel he had a problem. So, now 24 yrs after our first child was born, our kids seem to have a beg problem trying to please people, and the also have very low self esteem. I think it's his fault. It is hard for me to accept the fact that maybe it's not mostly his fault. He jokes that it's his fault and I have told him my opinion about that. He is sorry to have hurt them. Now that the damage is done I am sad and some days I am very down when I see my kids struggle or hear of problems they are having. I am deeply disappointed in how my husb has not really listened to me in the past. Now he will listen if I tell him I need him to do that. I think he has changed some, but it has been very hard for him to change, probably bkz he was brought up by a very harsh self centered father and a mother who did not have her voice yet. His Mom divorced his Dad, and I was glad about that. He deserved it. Well, that's another story. Thanks for listening.