My Husbands Borderline Personality Disorder And What It'S Done To My Son.

Let me first start out by saying my husband has not "officially" been diagnosed, but let me tell you, the signs are all there. He has had a very traumatic childhood. Mother committed suicide when he was 3. He was shuffled around from house to house. Sometimes living with his aunt/uncle, sometimes living with his alcoholic father who wasn't sure if he was really his kid and made sure to tell him that sometimes. Maybe my husband never felt wanted as a child. I'm really not sure. He never says. He says he father NEVER talked about his mother. He wasn't ever married to her. Now, for his father. Not the best role model. A drunk, impatient, mentally abusive type of person. I never liked him. Well, he end ups committing suicide 3 years ago. Shot himself in the head in his backyard. Why? We don't know. Didn't leave a note...nothing. So, here we have my husband who has two parents. Both committing suicide at different times. When his dad did it, it really pissed me off. How could he do that when he knew how much that hurt my husband when his mom did that and he went and let my husband go back and relive that pain again? Unbelievable.

Forward to my two sons. I have a 10 year old and a 7 year old. My 10 year old is a sensitive, loud, fun-loving kid. He's not perfect. He's a bit quirky. That's what makes him who he is. Well, everything he does gets on my husbands nerves. My son can't eat, talk, drink, play, etc...etc.. right. Everything is criticized. My son asks everyday when I pick him up from school if daddy is home. He goes across the street to his grandmas and hangs out till daddy goes to work. He does everything to avoid daddy. He won't go downstairs in the morning if daddy is down there, unless I go with him. My son has started stuttering in school. He has a blinking tic he gets when he's nervous. I don't know if all of that is related, but it's tearing me to pieces. I don't have a job. I stay home to take care of the family.

My husband and I fight alot. I'm always defending my boys. My husband is so out of control most of the time. He just wants to yell and not find out whats going on when they argue or fight. He just dishes out punishments.
My husband is constantly saying...."Shhhhhhh......" In the car. In the house. Telling the boys to stop talking. Be quiet. Go in the other room. He put my ten year old in time out last night for being to loud for eating a sucker because he had a migraine and accused him of "crunching" on it and my son said " I wasn't!" and my husband said "don't back talk me!"
My son likes to eat ice. So what. My husband gives him crap for that.
My son will lose his appetite when daddy comes home. And my boy likes to eat.
My husband will use my sons to get to me. He will use them to hurt me. If I don't play his "games" they are used against me. Basically since I'm the housewife, if the bills are not paid, money put back for savings, dishes done, laundry done, he will use his "frustratration" as an excuse for his behaviour. He will say.." I'm not TRYING to get mad, but when things that are supposed to be done around here aren't, I get frustrated.
I'm not sure if there is any hope for him. He doesn't believe in medication. He's never seen a therapist even when his dad committed suicide. He's never talked about it. He just shoves it under the rug and goes on his merry way. Well, my son needs help. 10 year olds commit suicide all the time. I'm not gonna let him take my son because of HIS unhappiness.
DramaEverything DramaEverything
36-40, F
Feb 7, 2013