Once Upon A Time I Was Happy, Now I Am Depressed And Bored With Life, And Worried I Will Stay That Way.

It all started when my family and I moved to England from South Africa. We moved when I was 15. I'm now 25.

I had the perfect life growing up. We had the beach on our door step and my favourite past time was surfing and generally being at the beach with family or friends. I played so many sports. I made it big in my area for playing rugby. I had potential and were on the right path for playing professional rugby. We always went on fun family holidays around South Africa like camping/fishing/horse riding holidays. I loved it where I lived.

One day the news was released to me, we are moving to England. I remember feeling excited about moving to a different country. But as the time drew nearer I started feeling confused, anxious and depressed.

When we got here, it was literally starting all over again. I had no friends and in a cold country. That's when the depression started properly and has never left, even now. After I finished school i started working and life got better then. I was able to save my money and travel around Europe. I love doing that an gave me plenty excitement. My favourite was going away snowboarding. But the depression would start again when I got back to the boring and mundane way of English life.
I have done some really amazing things, but the depression has always been apart of my baggage.

I am currently at university, studying model design and special effects for film and architecture. It's going okay, but expensive and the travel to uni sucks as I am living at home. Takes an hour and 50 mins one way. The expense definitely gets me down as its so expensive to study now. How do the government expect people to want to go study!? And the thought of not being able to go away for 3 years is a sad thought, as I am a poor student!
My partne seems to be getting fed up of my flat mood all the time too.
I need excitement! I am craving an adrenaline rush...and life is not giving me that ATM. I'm slowly losing interest in the things I love and I feel very far away from my family, even though they are 5 mins down the road. Would be grateful for any ones input? Am slowly losing the will...
Ryan47 Ryan47
22-25, M
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

Thank you for that mark. Yes my mood is certainly different in the winter. I'm much happier in summer because I go out running or cycling. I am always looking at holiday packages so a holiday will be coming, hopefully! Need to get a part time job while studying. Thanks for your input

I think from reading your story you are like me, in that you like to travel and do exciting things, but you have to realise and except that life can be boring and mundane. I find things dull and boring especially in the winter, but you have to hold on and things will get better there will be sunny days ahead I know it seems so far off at the moment. Try at least for now to plan a trip or holiday that will make you feel better, hope in some small way this helps.

Mark x