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I'm Sorry, Alex

I know some people will read this story and think, you can't break someone's heart in middle school, but it's actually surprisingly easy.
On the last day of sixth grade, I got home from school and saw that I had an email from Alex (made-up name), a guy from school. I read it, and he said that he really liked me and hoped we could hang out over the summer. Being a very mature eleven-year-old, I would have been ready for a relationship, but told him I wouldn't because I didn't want to date him. He didn't get the message for quite a while, and I pretty much avoided any contact with him for that summer.
When school started again, I was nervous. Seventh grade was hugely different from sixth for me, mainly because my best friend left America, but that is a whole other can of worms. Yes, I used that expression. Anyway, I did not want to see Alex, but with a tiny grade of only 65 kids (private school; gotta hate it) it was inevitable that I would see him at some point. So I avoided him as best I could until he said hi to me during first period on the first day. So much for the 'pretend you don't see him' plan.
During seventh grade, Alex gathered a reputation as a player and a loser. If I hadn't seen these things in him, I might have dated him, but I did see the bad in him. He thought his own racist and sexist jokes were funny when no one else did, and he sent pity emails out to all the girls he was interested in. 'I have 2 therapists and everybody hates me' was the main theme of these emails, which I dreaded as much as everyone else.
Halfway through seventh grade, Alex transferred to a different private school with a bad reputation as being for dumb or slow kids. He was depressed and while this made me feel bad, I wasn't going to give him a pity date. I was the only one he told before he left, because try as I had to sever our semi-friendship left over from sixth grade, he still considered us close. So he left, and he still had my school email address. I had been relieved, thinking that he wouldn't dare email me again.
This guy was shameless.
I got another email about a month after he left, saying crap about 'you probably expect me to flirt with you, but why try, i love you'. Actually, I believed that part, because this guy was quite fixated on me. We had no contact after that, until about a month ago in October of my eighth grade year. He emailed me 'how are you doing'. Thinking it harmless enough, I replied, and we had a conversation for a while. I was optimistically thinking he was over me, but sadly, no. After a few emails, he replied simply with 'love ya'. I did not reply to this, because I was annoyed and mad at how absolutely shamelessly persistent he was.
A week later, I got an email saying he hadn't heard from me in a while. I nearly replied, but stopped myself. I had tried several times (this story does not hit all parts of the story, but all the important ones) to fix our friendship from sixth grade, and time and time again, he had brought the dating thing back up. I was willing to have a friendship with him in the beginning, but he had been too eager to get to the closer stuff. I have guy friends, but even though they ask me out occasionally, they kind of know that I'm not going to say yes. Alex just thought that every couple months he could have a fresh start. Although he was depressed and I should've felt sorry for him, I just couldn't after the way he had been. I know he loved me, and still does, and this is harsh, I know. But Alex needs to forget about me. And hopefully delete my email address from his contacts.
alixi alixi 13-15, F Nov 22, 2011

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