The One That Got Away?

I know that break ups and heartachs are things you have to go through but tht doesn't make them anyless painful...to see someone you love hurt and confused and know your at fault hurts just as much if not more... I met him in 9th grade and from the moment we met we clicked. It wasn't easy but we ended up together and I was so happy and so in love, we were highschool sweethearts together all the time and going out, playing videogames, you name it. But somewhere along the line something went wrong.. it was senior year when I met a guy and we became good friends but something started there tht I didn't expect. I was scared because I thought I felt so much for him that I could leave my now 3 year boyfriend...just walk away from all our plans and promises. And I did. The tears and pain that followed was expected and painful. I think I cried more than he did...I didn't know if I was making the right choice I could picture my life going either way but I dcided tht if I could feel tht for another guy after so long tht he wassnt for me.. now idk if this guy is for me either, and it hurts so bad to think of my ex...I just don't know what I'm doing anymore, I feel lost, I want to be alone now. To gether myself and my thoughts. Both are great guys and neither deserves this so I think ill. Leave I graduate soon and I can start fresh, hopefully our paths will cross again but with whom? Who knows...