Broke Someone's Heart And Feel So Guilty

One can lie to everyone but never to himself. I cheated someone for almost four years . No i did not cheat on her but did make her false promises. I made her fall in love with me , made her dream those dreams that we can be together forever but deep down inside i always knew that its not gonna happen.

It all started when i was 26 and she around 34 . I remember i met her for the first time and just like most men had carnal pleasure in my mind .I thought that we will go out on few dates ,have good time and then it will fizzle off but it never happened.

I am not a bad person , i tried to break up with her so many times but her sweet nature and the kind way with which she always treated me just made it so damn hard. I didn't want to hurt her so kept on procrastinating to another day and one day i realized that 4 years just flew by and we were still together.

Having realized that i have already wasted so much of her time .I could not let it go any further . I loved her dearly but i knew i could never be with her ( I am East Indian, she was Mexican , my family would not accept her,so had to chose one out of two) . I decided to call it off. I still remember the day when i broke up with her . She took my hand in her hand , kissed it , had tears in her eyes and told me " I am letting you go "

It has been almost two years and till this date i cannot get it out of my head.

God knows that only if i could reverse the whole thing .

I just pray to GOD that he/she gives her all the happiness in the world and may she get a person who treats her with all love and respect.

I feel so guilty and the worst thing is , I cannot do anything to redeem myself .

Atleast writing over here, helps a little bit.

samj27 samj27
2 Responses Dec 6, 2012

I stopped looking outside after that incident. Part that hurts me most is that when i got into this, i had never envisioned for it to go beyond couple of dates. I ended up wasting someone's four years of their life.

I cherished every moment with her and still very fond of those memories.

Just hope that someday i become a true and honest person and not some Hypocrite , which is exactly what i have been feeling since last few years.

Sometimes we love and and when it is gone we realize what we had
I do believe if you value family then you did what was in your mind.
If she was in your heart I think you should have waited for your family to come around
I had a friend like you and I am outside his race.
I knew what our times together meant to me.
It was something that I would have held onto
He and I was discovered and he fell in love the first time we met.
He waited seven years to be old enough to approach me
I was his first and I know he wanted to stay here with his family
so I understood.
In love that hard the pain changes but never goes away
I suggest you treasure the memories. In knowing the rules of your religioon I suggest that you do not look outside what your family can accept.