My Ex-boyfriend

I have no idea why I let him put me through the things he did. I thought we loved each other, but as I look back on it, I know I was lying to myself and he was always lying to me.

He was the dangerous type. The type that thought he was so cool because he did crazy things and illegal things. He was a con artist. Always causing drama. He played himself off as a secret romantic around girls and bad-*** around his friends.

I never thought I'd actually do the things I did for him. He was always in trouble. I wanted to help him get out of that trouble. He had so many unpaid fines and he was in danger of going back to jail again, this time for a long time. He begged me to help him. How was I going to do that? I didn't make good money at all. I only got minimum wage. More than he made.

He got me to get a checking account. He claimed that he and all of his friends did it and never got caught. I refused for the longest time, but I caved. I still kick myself for doing so. But I got the checking account, and put the minimum balance in it. As soon as I got the checks, I started bouncing them. Everywhere. I'd "buy" things with the checks, expensive things, that I didn't actually want or need, and also little things that I wanted to keep. I'd take the expensive thing back to the store and keep the other small thing on the receipt. They'd give me back the cash instead of just redepositing it into my account because I had kept at least one thing on the receipt.

I bounced over $2000 in a week and gave all the cash to my boyfriend so he could pay off his fine. A week was all the time we had before the bank would realize that I bounced. My boyfriend took all the cash, and instead of putting it towards his fine, he blew it all on weed and other drugs.

I couldn't believe he betrayed me yet again. I should have known. It wasn't long after that, that the police were at my door with the court summons. I was only charged with $1000 of bounced checks and all I got was a fine of $650, after I paid back the $1000. I got lucky, I guess. But I am so ashamed of the whole thing. I shouldn't have let me use him the way he did. The worse part is that that was definitely not the only time he outright used me, although that was the only time I got in trouble with the law.

My credit is forever damaged and I still get letters from creditors telling me to pay money that I don't have. At least none of them went to the courts.

cinymin cinymin
18-21, F
Oct 26, 2006