Trying To Win Him Back And Need Your Help Pls

Okay so seven weeks ago my boyfriend and I split up. The experience I want to share is not that of the relationship or even of the break up but of what happens after.
I am sure many of you have been in the situation where it feels like your heart is missing.
Every breath hurts.
Life is stark.
Music makes you cry.
Food makes you sick.
Smiling is impossible.
Getting up in the morning is like losing him all over because in the night he is in your dreams.
And you feel an all consuming loss that roots as far as your toes, its through your chest and your whole body. No, your whole being.
At your core you feel dead.

It feels like other people don't understand because when someone dies its okay to sob. If you lose your home. You have a right to cry. If you get made redundant you have permission to not be yourself.

It seems that the loss of a man is not considered as painful. More silly.

Well my experience is that this can be true grief.

I miss my guy so much and I am trying to win him back. He thinks he is not good enough for me but I want him to realise its ok to make mistakes and we all do and that I love him. He has so much goodness.

So every week I have shown him I love him, made him dinner and dropped it around, made him a key ring with his name on to show I am thinking of him, given him a card, recorded a song.

I am not the kind of girl who chases just any guy. I have never chased before but I really do love him.

He is texting me and he comes over and sometimes its like he loves me still and sometimes its like he is not sure.
All I can do is get through each day and hope.

In the meantime I have been very Disney and posted a video on YouTube which is not amazing but I learnt the song for him.

I am hoping that other people who know how I feel will write kind messages and that in a few weeks I can show him.

Please take a look if you have time. Weallheartbetty on youtube.
weallheartbetty weallheartbetty
26-30, F
May 10, 2012