Saw My Ex Yesterday...

Yesterday, while on my way back home from office...I spotted my ex. Felt so sorry for him. He was there walking beside his office parking lot and having a smoke...(Our offices are pretty close :( , and also I was strict with him about 'no smoking'.)

And then I said to myself, " Wish you hadn't been such a weakling...wish you were a real man and knew how to love and respect a girl, then I would probably be holding hands with you and walking beside you...you wouldn't have to smoke your lungs out..."

He looked so very lonely. I controlled my emotions and drove past him. But all the way I was constantly thinking and praying for him to forget me. Then somewhere halfway, I had a minor accident. I was so messed up in my own thoughts that I didn't even bother scolding the person who hit me like a fool. I continued driving and all of a sudden, all those tears which I had been fighting back since I saw my ex, rolled out. I had no fear or anger about my 'few mins back' accident, all I could think was that my ex should forever remain happy and I should never have to see him again...

Weird mixed feelings...huh...but I am fighting strong 'coz I know I was the best me during the time we spent together...I have no regrets. I am sad but sure I will move ahead.
asadbutterfly asadbutterfly
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

if he hurt you, he deserved the pain that he is going through, he should know better on not to abuse women, they are just as human as men are and they deserve a chance of live, you to deserve life and someone better then your ex, he was a coward

m/

10 The accident was minor for a purpose and would not of happened if you would of stopped. Were all special and diffrent. Another woman might not see weakness because she's not as strong as your words say. You should of bummed a smoke and another till you bring out his strenth to say..."hey you don't smoke" and you say "I will smoke until you start putting your out.

2)That's what soul mates do...thick or thin explore every fractured part of each other, you give, he gives & forever, not repaired, however acknoalaged and in mind he wittnesses the cross you carry might need a mans help..a purpose (you) to be what he lost somewhere along the trail....and when he catches up to your standards....the soul mate feeling of acomplishments begin...and guess what..it make you stronger and prepared for the next exchange of love for each other's help untill it's a Rocksolid relationship.

3)If the above is to hard for you...you should of saved what rolled out of you for him to have what he thirst for most...to naturally do what a man naturally does for a woman is hold her till she's better.. a weak moment & loss of your strenghth into him making him stronger than yesterday through the adversity of never give up because you shared what he needs to prove what you don't know.

4) Or share 2 of the most powerful words I'm (you) sorry (gift) you left him to stay strong and confident for the journey of the un-known....if you truly want him happy, not lonely & scared to move forward. Remember were all held accountable for our actions, if you can remember, at least understand less I's & my's when you write will help you not get miss understood with possably things in the mirror you don;t notice.

I am not quite sure I understood everything you wrote but I wanna just say one thing...you were not there all the times he tortured me emotionally, mentally and at times physically. Whatever you're suggesting or advising me above...I've tried all of that and much, much more. But there comes a day when you have to stand strong for your happiness, your own self-respect and that is when I made my decision...I chose to be happy and strong and independent. But just because I chose this doesn't mean that I hate him...I can't hate him...I tried but I can't...I guess that's what true love is all about...I have also forgiven him for whatever he did...I was his backbone..i was his strength...I was his guardian for all the time we were together...but I cannot be anymore. Life teaches us bitter/sweet lessons for a reason...so that we may learn from that and emerge stronger. Never think entirely from your heart...you will face lot of betrayals...never think entirely from your head...you will never learn to trust...use both...you will be everything you want to be.
I might sound rude to you...but it happens naturally when you expect to be understood but rather get blamed. I am not sure if you've read my other post/experience...that will give you a li'l better insight about the relationship we shared...you may understand my disposition then.