Heartbroken Over My Break-up

I am feeling so sad & hurt, because he is the first person I have gotten close to in almost four years. He and his wife were separated for over two years, they hadn't gotten their divorce due to finances. He & I started to date almost three months ago, we started getting serious probably too fast. I have three children & he has two. I've been divorced almost ten years. Due to his financial situation & him wanting to spend weekends with his son, we spent about every weekend with our children doing things together as a family. I can count four actual dates we went on & we did have some alone time together at his apartment from time to time. I don't think there was enough time alone, us building more trust & I just wasn't sure he was ready for another relationship. I found some glamour shot sexy (nude under a blanket) pics of  his estranged spouse on his computer this week. He of course  said he hadn't looked at his pics in a long time & forgot they were there. And just so you know, she ended their relationship, has been in another relationship for a while.  She called him last night to discuss their son's birthday today and he felt the need to talk with her in another room away from me. I number one went against my own rule to not date anyone who has not completely ended all current relationships/marriage & stayed in this too long, even though I had some red flags earlier. This guy has such a wonderful, loving personality that I thought it would be okay.  I feel like I should have known better than to build emotional bonds with someone in his position & now I am paying for it with pain of my own.

notfeelinsunny notfeelinsunny
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2007

sorry my dear, but at some point our hearts are not royal to us because they would have sensed such things! Trust in the mighty father if your a believer that miracles can come at any corner at any un expected time

Well, this is a situation in which you must make very good judgement. Since both of these two people have a kid together, then you cannot simply expect them to cut all ties, and you must not take everything to be a sign of "unfaithfulness". If he really loves you, ask him if he will at least try to finalize the divorce, and then go through with the relationship. Also, did you try telling him that you feel uncomfortable when he asks to be left with a private conversation between his kids mother and himself? It is possible he doesn't know just how to handle the situation, as life does throw hidden obstacles in the way of what seems like an unblockable love. I don't know, if this is the only problem, try at least talking it over and trying to understand each other.