And He Took the Kids

I can't have full custody because of my mental health problems, and my drinking problem.  but i'm better off, i think because I know he is better for the kids.  he has a really dedicated mother.  I never liked her, because she is a pain in the ***, but at least she will take care of the kids since I am unable to.

 

I can have the kids every other weekend.   Which is ok with me. 

I don't like it that i'm too old to find someone else though.  What ****** me off is that i wasted my youth with this man who never loved me anyway, and now that I'm old and used and damaged goods, nobody will ever want me.

HotPinkGirl HotPinkGirl
36-40, F
4 Responses Mar 7, 2009

Stop the drinking...and get a hold of your mental problems...I've have had many mental problems but drinking screws up them even more. You don't need to worry about not finding someone else yes it will make you feel comfort but get comfort from your children...in the end you will be more unhappy and unstable cause you're missing out on being around your children remember you made them...yeah children can be a pain in the butt and maybe you are not fit to be a parent i don't know you...I feel for you though...make yourself happy but remember you weren't the only one affected...you're children have been affected get help my mom did the same thing you are doing...shes a manic depressive schizo and she used to do drugs and drink...my dad took us cause she wasn't a fit parent..i still hold it against her cause all she cared about was finding a new guy and making her self happy she didn't try what so ever to get us more often. it was the same set up you have with your children...i always asked why doesn't she love us enough to get better. now I'm grown and i have my own child and life but i still help take care of her...the man she got with beat the hell out of her and made her condition worse...talk to your ex as an adult and find out what happened and don't point fingers he obviously is a good man if he takes care of the kids....maybe not a good husband he could have been a complete *** to you i don't know....but respect him for that...that being taking care of things. if you need someone to talk to or an outsiders view ill be here but just get help it may be a pain in the *** but once you can think clearly things aren't as bad as they see. I'm sorry any of this has happened to you.

Thanks for your support! I am actually seeing someone else...

I say your not to old. I used to feel the same. Life is too short. And you will get where you need to be...

You are NOT too old! You will get there. The end of any relationship is traumatic. Be gentle to you - and focus on you becoming a better person, a stable person. This will allow you to see your children more. Alcoholism and promiscuity usually are the result of an underlying problem (like self loathing). PLEASE go talk to a therapist. Take care of YOU! I KNOW what you are going through - and you can do it.