I Cant Allow Myself To Trust Anyone...why?

like i have suspicious in even the people i care about, except one which is my sister who lived with me all her life,....i trust her, i tell her everything which happened during the day with me, my secrets, my thoughts and every confession i want to share .

i know one thing about myself,  im the kind of girls who can explode if she didnt tell whats wrong with her, thats why i wait all day to come and share it with my sister. i just love her sooo much and i know she would help me and she would save me but when it comes to others, all i have is doubts...i find it hard to tell them, like i start thinking they will spread the secret,hmmm  they dont show me trust and i find it hard and annoying.

and whenever i wanna think about marriage, i start doubting if i should/can trust the man....is he dating another girl? should i show for him love or i will be like silly girls who are used while their men are with others?

why is he online? who is he talking to? is he serious? is he messing with another girl trying if he can find a better one?

Yeah i have serious trust issues and it kills me, it even kills my trust in myself, i lose it sometimes,

i see a lot of ppl messing, so that scares me, i start ''protecting myself'' from facing similiar situation...but protecting myself and building walls is making me doubting a lot, like everyone dont deserve my trust unless they prove it and that rarely happen.

what should i do?
deepness deepness
22-25, F
Apr 10, 2011