I've Built a Wall Around Me

I've climb over some rocks to get where I am today.  Two years ago I got clean off of crack and alcohol.  I spent 5yrs with emotional and physical abuse before that.  So I built walls around my heart because it hurt so much.  I just couldn't open up to anyone.  I had to process a lot of pain that I put myself through, and had a hard time loving myself in the process.

This is when I'll get sappy.  I found EP.  EP helped me one stone at a time to open up and become more comfortable with sharing.  Once I got started I couldn't shut up with all my stories.  As time went on, I started feeling all the love I needed to start bringing the wall down even more.  What ever I can't bring down yet, people are climbing over my wall.  

Thank You, I need your love and concern.


WarriorMom WarriorMom
51-55, F
4 Responses Mar 5, 2009

Goodbye cruel world, I'm leaving you today, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.Goodbye all you people there is nothing you can say to make me change my mind.Goodbye.

Thank you, it's nice to meet you too :)

Thanks faster, you describe it very well. I consider your sharing this story as a step forward. It's nice to meet you.

Wow, I can really relate to this story, I think I know how you feel WM, I know how hard it is to stem the rush of emotion that comes when we finally let down our defenses, it scary. The idea of sharing that with anyone terrifies me and I admire your courage in telling your story.<br />
I've built a similar wall around myself and am trying, one brick at a time, to tear it down. I thought it kept me safe -and in a strange way I suppose it did -but it has also cut me off and left me isolated from the rest of the world. I hope that reading your stories will somehow inspire me tell my story to someone. In the meantime, I have enjoyed reading what you have written here on EP, and I wanted you to know that.<br />
Good luck to you, what you are doing is awesome :)