Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Burn

I don't have the guts to cut myself... I've burned a lot though it keeps me from crying and it takes away my stress I hate the fact that i do it but once I'm in the process i can't stop till my arms numb, i don't know what else to do i keep it covered and no one knows i heat up a knife or something sharp with a lighter and i burn myself its like a way of punishing myself if i've done something wrong. After i do, i feel so guilty and i can't look at myself but then the next time im stressed i go straight to burning I feel like im addicted to it. I can't help but feel like a disappointment to others i let everyone down, and i can't seem to do anything right no matter how hard i try, what makes me feel even more like a screw up is that its always the same mistakes no matter how hard i try everything gets worse its as if i shouldn't even try im too young to feel like theres nothing to be happy about, I wouldn't burn over stupid things like boys, because they're just boys they wont matter years from now, my future makes me nervous, and school stresses me out, i can't help but feel helpless and i can't take pride in myself anymore.
Cobra94 Cobra94 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 18, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

Im also a burner cobra94. I stopped and for a moment i thought completely. I stopped i would never cut or burn again. But all it took was seeing a lit candle.I didnt have a lighter so i lit something on fire and pushed it in my skin.I used to do it with the oven but i didnt trust the burners in are new house so i stopped cause of fear if i caught something on fire. what if i endangered my family. It only takes one mistake.With a lighter what if you drop it. Or you get an infection.It could kill you but that might not matter if you want to die i dont know. I have a lot of scars i cover up sometimes but mostly i dont. No one would dare ask me any questions. They can make there damn assumptions but ive learned to be comfortable with that part of my body cause these scars will be there now wether i cover up or not unless i get surgery but that does no good if i keep burning and cutting. One day youll stop cause of many reasons some bad like if you get so depressed and kill yourself. You get an infection lose a limb anything or if you get better and you start to get the things you want in life the things you dont have that make you burn. Youve already said you havent done it in awhile. Something will make you stop and something will make you start. You have too figure how to get in control so you dont need to do it. Right now you need to cause your hurting you have to figure out a way to go on and not need to do it at all cause it doesnt help simply because as long as you burn the outside world will not change. Youll still be hurting and burning and nothing will change cause you can only change yourself and when you do that you wont need to burn cause youll finally be happy

I know it doesn't help and i know its wrong, it's just not thinking properly. I haven't done it in a while actually, too many people have noticed. The last thing I want is people thinking I'm a freak but thank you for the advice I really appreciate it!

please temme one thing, has burning or harming yourself in any way ever helped you in any way ?<br />
all it causes is scars and scalds that will last u forever. if things that dont result into something good, then u should stop it.<br />
instead do something that will be productive, like if you get less scores, try to study better, or if u fought with somebody, go sort out things.<br />
these will help u in some way and not harming yourself, remember ur only insulting your body and yourself by self harm.<br />
you know ur capable of success, just get enought motivation and u are sorted for life :)<br />
XO