My Father Was Horrible...I posted this once today in another forum...just feels empowering to finally share what I went though out loud with others who understand!
I grow up with a scary father who was very strict with me and my older brother. He justified it, by saying that’s how he was raised in Russia. My American born mother never got into any of the problems we had with our father, she let him do whatever he wanted…I don’t think she really wanted sons. If we did something he didn’t like we were taken downstairs to the den and handled there. Handled was us over his knee and paddled. My father did this until we were about 12. When we hit our teens he switched over to the belt and would whip us to tears, which says how bad it was. After the whippings were over, we ordered to stop crying or we would get more. I remember opting out of a high school trip to a swim park because I had welts all over my butt and legs.
So as my user name gives away, I am a single father. I had my daughter when I was just a teenager myself. When I told my father my girlfriend was pregnant, he belted me the worst he ever had. On top of the belting, he was cussing at me, throw me into the wall and hit me in the face. I just had this sinking feeling that he was going to put me in the hospital this time, if not worse. I remember crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe, and was so scared I was shaking. It was also the one time that my brother came to my aid. He tried to fight my father off of me. I remember him screaming, because my father took him to the ground by his arm. My father was threatening to break it and my brother started crying and begging him to let him up. He let him go and still beat the mess out of him with his belt. And because I had witnessed the whole thing, my father penned me up against the wall and told me if I ever tried to fight him, that he would in his words “demolish” me! I had huge bruises all over me and had to miss school for the week.
So I grow up scared of him my whole life, and even to this day. Though he doesn’t hit us anymore, even when he calls it’s still this automatic “yes sir” response that I give him out of automatic fear I guess. My brother doesn’t deal with my father too much, hasn’t since he went off to college many years back. I am still very close to my brother, I do think he probably saved me life that day.