I Don't Remember My Childhood.

I remember bits and pieces from my childhood. Certain smells and sounds make me nauseated or angry without any concrete reason. I am happy to not dwell in the past. I wouldn't be the person I am if I had not experienced the things I had to go through, and I think I'm ok. I think I'm a better mother because I know what kind of parent I don't want to be. My sister says I'm repressing my memories and something bad is going to happen if I don't face them head on, but she is the one in therapy. I think I deal with things quite well. I have two healthy, happy, wonderfully well adjusted kids, a happy marriage, and am able to hold down a job. Why on earth would I want to dredge things up that would only serve to complicate my life?
HarleyBob619 HarleyBob619
41-45, F
3 Responses Jul 15, 2007

I congratulate you for coming through the way you have.

I think it's ok if you're memory is blocked because it could be too painful for you to remember. My sister has no memory of her childhood. Unfortunately I do and am haunted by them everyday. My father terrorized and beat us from very little through the teenage years. I was also sexually abused and witnessed sexual abuse as a child. I was told I was stupid, called a *****. I was beaten for going to a sports banquet to get an award, for going to work as a teenager, for walking into the kitchen at the wrong time, etc. My mother was there but to frightened to save us. So I would take the beating and get up to go to school the next day, as if nothing ever happened. I will never understand how she could still be with him after all these years knowing the things he did to her children.

I noticed that over 200 people have read your story and not one of them commented to tell you how strong of a person you are! You have came from an abusive past and without dwelling on it, you have became a very productive person! Tell your sister that therapy is just time wasted and money spent. I'm sure you think back on your past, as we all do but unlike some people you are brave and confident. Probs to you, and I hope one day your kids will grow up and appreciate how strong of a person you truly are.