A Goal.I am writing this story because a friend asked me to ( EP Link ). Wonderunwalled picked this from amongst my experience and asked me to elaborate.
This is not one of my experiences, though -- it is a goal.
In keeping with the theme of the story request, I shall explain, at least partially, the origin of the goal.
I shall save the story of my first disputed kiss for another experience (it is a good story!), but I didn't have my first undisputed kiss until the second half of my senior year of high school. I don't how it was where you grew up, but where I grew up, most folks had their first kiss about seven or eight years earlier, and were well versed in the art of kissing by then. I was already far behind before I even started.
I had the pleasure of kissing the second young woman of my life just a few months later. The day after our first kiss, she took me aside and gave me a talking to. Euphemistically, I was over-enthusiastic.
Less than a year or so later, I kissed the fourth young woman of my life. We had a good emotional connection, but she let me know that my kissing was something less than wonderful. As I recall, she asked me to slow down. Some explanation is probably in order.
I have allergies and chronic rhinitis. As such, especially in those years, I was always congested. I used to play saxophone, so I had great lung capacity; however, after a minute or so, I'd have to stop kissing to breathe. I was (and largely still am) a mouth breather.
I kissed a few women in the years after that. None ob
I met my soon-to-be-ex-wife when I was 25, almost 19 years ago. I vaguely recall that she enjoyed kissing at the start. For most of our marriage, though, she wouldn't kiss me. She complained many times that my lips were too tight, too tense. She said it was like kissing "chicken lips." Occasionally I would get a compliment from her, usually back-handed, "Why can't you kiss like that more often?" The marriage ended. Although I'm quite certain that my kissing inadequacy had nothing to do with the end of the marriage, it also certainly had nothing to do with sustaining the marriage.
With all those experiences, I developed quite an insecurity about my ability to deliver a kiss that satisfies. And that is why I set this experience as a goal.
Since deciding to divorce, I dated a few women. They did quite appear to enjoy kissing me.
Now I have met the most amazing woman, one with whom I share a great emotional and physical connection. I asked her about my kissing. She reassured me that my kissing is just fine.
I'm not sure if I can put this goal to rest, but having had this as a goal, having had this insecurity, it is among the experiences of my life. And so, I will keep it listed here.