My Son Is Gone

It's OVER!!!  My son left for Job Corps this morning and I cannot even get the words to express my sense of relief that I can once again have my home to myself and not have to worry about not having money for food for him, and having to borrow it from some of everybody.  It's been an embarrassment.  I don't have to be quiet about his keeping my computer on for 18 to 33 hours at a time and then his sleeping all day long doing nothing but costing me.  The thing too is with ALL that I did for him, taking him in, buying him clothes, making sure he ate even though I didn't, with these things he actually was resentful that I made him sign up for Job Corps.  Once the application was submitted he literally stopped talking to me.  Before he enlisted we talked and laughed all the time.  It's been two weeks of pretty nothing and certainly no good humor.  Now, on his way to some kind of a positive structured future, he doesn't even have the common courtesy to tell me bye.  This young man walked out my front door without even looking back.  Forget about me being his mother and he did that to me, just add to it what I have had to do and endure for over two months while he did nothing but take, take, take!  He told me that he didn't want my phone number to keep in touch with me!  He's supposed to enlist into the Army next May and Job Corps only covers 8 months. I SUGGESTED that he take a second course for the two months to cover the gap and he said no that he would find something else to do because he didn't want to stay in job corps.  I'll tell you what.  He's not coming back here to me and running me into the ground like he just did.  I was surprised that the landlord let him stay here that long!  I secretly put a note in his bag telling him that he needed to make his own decisions about his future and if he wants to still enlist into the Army then do so where he's in school at.  They have job placement and he can work until he's eligible to go active duty.  Right now I haven't a lick of food in my fridge or cupboard.  I let him have what was here to tide him over because I didn't want him to be hungry.  He's traveling and I'm not.  I want have money until Wednesday.  It'll certainly be the longest that I've gone without eating at least a little something.  I've breathed that "he's really gone" sigh and started to claim my home again.  There were walls to scrub--don't ask cause I don't know HOW he dirtied those up--I changed the boodwar around and the linen and little things like that that seem insignificant when it's not restricted.  It's so quiet. So very, very quiet. Tonight I will sleep in MY bed in MY room. No more being crunched up on the couch!!  He's 6'8" and still growing and wouldn't have fit on the couch but I'd have taken it and given him my bed anyway.
Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
1 Response Jul 30, 2007

sometimes im scared to have children because i know that i would live for the moments they accomplished things and did well and understood how much id done for them..... but what if they didnt and they hated me...... id probably cry!