In the Darkest of Hours...

Humour is, by definition, a funny thing. It can be used with as much cruelty as a rack and pair of thumbscrews, or to lighten the deepest of pain.

Having seen many people in times of despair, sudden loss or facing the inevitability and then realisation of loss, and worked where death is a not infrequent reality, I can say with certainty that it is the warmest and most centred people that find the space for appropriate humour in these situations and it's the mark of deepest respect.

There is something about finding balance and an open perspective, a genuine and mature wisdom that allows people to find the light in any situation. It's not a matter of finding something to laugh at, nor finding a silver lining, or making light of the situation - instead  it seems to stem from a profound  understanding of the way life works.

Some day, I'd like to have the maturity and wisdom that those people had.
TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
6 Responses Jun 7, 2007

A lot of stuff has happened to me. Every single thing that has happened to me is funny, in some way shape or form. But I don't think it's because I'm wise though. I just have a weird sense of humor!<br />
(In fact, I think it disturbs some people. Oops. lol)<br />
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But it's made life a lot better. And some people love laughing with me!

For twenty years I made my living onstage making people laugh. As comics go, I was as insecure as most, loving the immediate gratification of applause and the validation of my self worth that it brought. (Note to the reader: I have long since rid myself of that need). But of all the endless nights and road trips, one show sticks out in my rapidly addling brain. A woman came up to me after a particularly good show and was crying. Thinking I'd insulted her somehow, I was prepared with an abject and sincere apology. Instead, she just extended her hand and said that she wanted to thank me. Perplexed, I asked, why was she crying? At this point she said that she had buried her father the previous day (he had died suddenly) and her friends had dragged her kicking and screaming to the show. She added that she was grateful that I was able to take her away from all that pain for a little whwhile and just wanted me to know that the work I was doing was valued in ways I never could have imagined. That woman began me on my journey to look inward instead of outward for fulfillment. I thank her to this day.

I`ve read some pretty amazing things around here tonite, and it just keeps getting better. I keep finding these groups that stimulate the mind, and soothe the soul, and reconnect me to humanity. And now here in this place.<br />
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Humour is a way that pain can be safely extracted. Sometimes in overwhelming throes of agony, it`s that one thing that can stand out as Good, and Different. It`s something to hold on to, like a flashlight in the dark. It heals. It can do the best job of bringing us together while reassuring our humanity. And I think it`s necessary. You need something dependable when pain is involved.<br />
You`ve helped to remind me of this.

An oyster enconters a grain of sand. The irritation is maddening. It covers the sand with a liquid secretion, and another, and another. Eventually a pearl is formed.<br />
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The Buddha said life is pain - and all humor finds its root in pain. To laugh is to look at human affairs in their proper context, from God's point of view. We wrap our pain in pretty packages so that we can enjoy it, instead of being undone by it.

Yes, I hope you're not too insecure about your wisdom, because you are well on your way to achieving it!

I have to say that I love your writting style! What a gift you have! You sound very wise and intellectual also! I wish I could write like this! I am interested in reading other stories by you.