Someone Knew What Was More Immediately Enticing

It was THE evening. My life -- what was left of it, at least -- would be irrevocably changed, and for the better.  I'd simply had enough.  Enough of being lonely, enough of not having enough money, of having an unfulfilling job, of not having good friends, and not being liked or appreciated enough, of people not seeing all my good qualities.  All that would go away, and good riddance.

I was waiting in the small back yard when he approached.  His dress was semi-formal and his shoes were immaculate and spotless.  With short hair perfectly combed and clean-shaven face he looked every bit professional.  He must have known I'd respect that.  There was burning intensity behind his deep, dark eyes.

"Hello," he greeted me cordially.  "Have you made a decision?"

"Yes."  I withdrew the sheaf of pages.  It was getting dusky fast, and I really couldn't see the print on them any more.  I turned on the small table lamp and set the folio on top of the round glass, beside my iced tea.  "I'm ready to go ahead with the contract.  Would you like something to drink?"

He sat on the patio chair I'd left out for him, shaking his head as he did so.  The way the light shone left long shadows over his face. 

"You're sure now?" he said, although without a hint of warning or dissuasion.  "Once it's signed there's no turning back.  You've read the terms carefully."

"Yes, I've read it," I replied dismissively.  "Everything is spelled out clearly.  What you're offering -- I'd rather have that for a short while than endure the rest of my life the way it's going.  Let's get this over with."

He reached beneath his blazer, drawing a sharp looking fountain pen from the pocket of an immaculate white shirt.  "Okay, then," he said in a calm voice.  He turned the contract around and slowly turned the pages, one by one, until he reached the last page.  I wondered why he was being so patient.  I was giving him what he wanted.  He read the last page slowly, then turned it back towards me and gave me the pen.  "I need you to sign at the bottom."

I took the pen purposefully.  "Once I've done this, how soon will--"

"Excuse me?"

My hand hovering over the page, I looked up, startled, by the unexpected voice.  Even my companion seemed surprised.  I saw the form moving slowly from the dimming light until she was mostly visible in what illumination my lamp provided.  It was my neighbour -- I remembered, suddenly, that her name was Virginia -- who had moved in, next door, just a few days ago.  I'd seen her on the other side of our fence, and we'd exchanged some pleasant small-talk.  She was, I thought, in her mid-thirties, with thick auburn hair hanging around her shoulders.  She was stocky, yet graceful.  As she came into the light I saw her wearing a dark blue dress, the skirt down to her knees but with a high neck-line, and sandals.

"Oh.  Hi, Virginia," I said, my voice not hiding my surprise.  "I didn't see you . .   Oh, I'm just finishing this up.  This is--"

"Yes, I know," she said, her voice relaxed and almost soothing.  "He's been around the neighbourhood lately."  She looked at my well dressed associate.  "Haven't you?"

I frowned, not understanding what she meant, and looked at the man sitting across from me.  His eyes were half-closed as he turned slowly to face her.  "Good evening," was all he said.

"Mr. Under," she said to me.  "Eli, right?  I'm sorry I've interrupted, but there's something important I've been meaning to say."  I watched her, intrigued.  Her voice was leading and gentle.

"Excuse me?" My companion spoke to her, his voice equally calm.  "We're nearly finished here.  If you'll just wait a moment--"

"Eli, you wait," Virginia interrupted, her voice suddenly solid and steady.  "All you'll get from him -- from this," she pointed at the pages beneath the lamp "-- is misery and suffering, for all eternity.  You do know that, don't you?"

"What I'm offering," came the man's fast retort, "is everything he's wanted.  Success, respect, money, influence.  He'll become well known, travel to exotic lands, meet important people--"

"What you don't know, Eli," she said, directly to me.  "This is difficult.  What you don't know is that, from the first moment we met, I fell in love with you.  You could have all that he's offering, starting whenever . . ."

"Enough of this!"  The man spun back around, facing me with a sinister frown.  "You've already agreed to sign.  Do it now, Eli.  Quickly!"

" . . . or you can have me, right now."

As she said it, one hand went to the back of her neck, then slowly down the centre of her back.  Virginia crossed her arms across her chest, and her hands shrugged the short sleeves from her shoulders. 

As the soft noise of material rumpling met my ears, I beheld Virginia as I'd never expected to.  She stood still for a few seconds, her arms resting at her sides.  There was a slight roll around her stomach and waist, yet her hips were well proportioned.  Her legs were somewhat slender, yet muscled.  Large aureolas and pink nipples stood out in contrast to her pale breasts and skin, as did the thatch of dark hair between her legs.  Dumbfounded as I was, I couldn't help but rise from my chair at the sight of her.

There was a clatter as the man across from me stood as well, knocking his chair over.  "You improper, little--"

"Oh, please!" she waved dismissively as she stepped slowly towards me.  "You're one to talk about little things."

"HOW DARE YOU!!" a deep, booming voice suddenly reverberated, as if from the air all around us.  An enormous cloud of smoke billowed from the ground, surrounded him, and a moment later there stood someone a full foot taller, his skin sunburn-red, with a Vandyke beard, two enormous horns protruding from his forehead, glistening yellow eyes, a barrel chest and impossibly narrow stomach and waist.  Even I couldn't help but gasp at the bottle-length staff standing out where his legs met.  "THIS MORTAL CANNOT COMPARE WITH ME," he bellowed, literally in all-caps, too.  "ALLOW ME TO CONSUME YOUR PASSION, AND BEGONE!"

I felt a surge of panic.  I didn't want Virginia to lose to this loser, but let's be honest.  Between me and this beefcake there was no comparison.

Virginia suddenly giggled, which took us both by surprise.  She snatched a flashlight from the ground, back beside where her dress and fallen, and shone it directly at Satan's member.  To my shock (and relief) the long salami vanished.  In its place was something just . . . ordinary. 

"It's an illusion," she said.  "Just like everything else you offer."  She looked back at me, a twinkle in her eye.  "But I'm not."

"AAARRRRRRGGGGHHH!!  Don't think this has ended!!" the devil hollared.  "You haven't seen the last of me!!"  The sound of thunder crashed through my yard, and he disappeared in another cloud of smoke.

I stared at where he'd been, then looked at the table.  A charred clump was all that remained of the pages.  Then I looked at this absolutely, stunningly gorgeous woman.  "I-I don't know what to say," I stammered.

"Whatever it is, can we say it inside?" she said, hugging her arms around herself.  "It's getting cold."

"Oh, my God!  Oh, yeah!  Sure!  Come in."  I gestured for her to follow me through the patio door.  I was gushing about her, of course.  I wanted to say so many inappropriate -- Inappropriate?  She was naked, for heaven's sake! -- things to her.  "I guess you must be an angel, huh?" was all I could manage.

"Let me stay the night," she replied, coyly, "and you'll find out."
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
Sep 12, 2012