My Pain

i am 18 yrs old.i met a gem in 10th std. study centre. he helped me in many ways.i am weak in one of my subjects and used to get fail marks in it.even my parents hatred me.even i thought of commiting suicide because of that. but this guy always tease me for fun and we both had a great time.we used to do combined study.small plays,lots of fun,etc.after some time we our centre's strength got increased and more boys joined in it.so we stopped our combined study and we started to read in a self manner.but still he used to play with me.eventhough i hate that centre,i went there to just meet him and not to study.days passed in this way.and when our publice exam rushed,i started to read my lessons.but i felt it hard to study by keeping him infront of me.i always look at him and i won't study.keeping my exam marks in mind,i  stopped going to study centre and prepared for my exams at home itself.but i didn't refuse to have his thoughts and memories.and also i scored 84 out of 100 in that subject and also got good marks in rest of the subjects also.meanwhile,i didn't have his contact no. but he sent his slam book through one of my classmates who studied in the same centre and told me to fill it up.i felt happy in that moment.after that i saw him oneday in ground while he was playing cricket.i thought of talking to him.but he didn't show any reaction on seeing me.i just went straight to him and scolded for not approaching me to talk.he just laughed and spoke to me. then in my higher secondary classes,i went to hostel.so i was unable to meet him.then i met him after finishing my school level studies in a function which is a pre-preparatory program for college students.but i didn't talk to him because there was a large crowd and i felt shy to talk before that much crowd and it may create problem.after that we didn't get a chance to meet face to face.now i am doing my second year course and he is also doing his second year course in another college near to our city.i got him again through facebook and it was me who sent him the friend request.he also accepted it and he gave his mobile no. and me too.oneday i saw a beautiful girl in his photo and commented that she is beautiful.nextday we both were online and he told that she is his lover and she is his classmate too.i was depressed but i consoled myself and told that she is a good match to him.he said about his 2 years love on that girl but i didn't expose my 5years love on him.it's paining a lot.always i cry because of his memories.some days after my mother saw him messaging me by viewing my mobile message inbox and told me not to have boyfriends and also she told  him not to message me anymore.i felt so sad at this incident.it's paining a lot.i thought of leading my life alone with his memories. still i love him.somedays after i asked him about the his lover. he said that the just said for fun. i was happy and i scolded him for telling lie. oneday i said my feelings to him and he found that i am in love on him. he avoided my calls to him. i scolded for that too. again he told that he is in love with another girl but not that girl whom he said at first. i am realy confused.is he in love or trying to avoid me?friends please say some ideas to get rid of my sufferings because i cannot share this to my family and i hate them because of their attitude.PLEASE HELP ME BY SUGGESTING SOME IDEAS.i am totally confused and i don't know what to do.i feel very lonely without him.i hate everyone in this world.he is the one and only soul i like.i love him more and more but fails to expose my deep love. i am getting tensed ans i scold him for avoiding me.i just want to convey my heart beat to him.IS THERE ANYWAY FOR ME TO TELL HIM CLEARLY ABOUT MY LOVE TO MY LOVE?????