Can't Be With Her

In my life I have never really been interested in relationships and to be honest I could never understand the appeal. That all changed when I met Her. From the moment I saw her I was fascinated. She has the most wonderfully absurd and crazy sense of humour I have ever encountered and she just seems to have a glow of cheerfulness around her. I couldn't explain it but I just felt the desire to be around her and it would be the highlight of my day when I saw her. this went on for several months before it finally clicked that i had feelings for her. It probably took so long to realise because I am asexual so I didn't have experience sexual attraction as a clue. I wanted to hold her hand and just hold her close.

My debs was the most wonderful and painful experience of my life. Wonderful because I got to spend most of the evening in her company, painful because she was with someone else. The worst part is that she is in a relationship with one of my best friends and they are very happy together and make a wonderful couple and all I can think of is how awful I feel. It makes me sick that I can't just be happy for her and move on. Also I can't just cut all connections with her to avoid the hurt because we're good friends and i'd miss the friendship. I wish I knew how to move on ut I can't and I'm afraid I'll never feel the same way about anyone else again.
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Aug 5, 2010

I know how that feels. I am currently dealing with that kind of pain.

Maybe, she is not the right one, maybe you just have to go on and let the time do the job.