But Let Me Try - Wtf?

To Melanie Broadbent (aka HOMEWRECKING wh*re),

Really, what the **** ?

Honestly, just what the **** were you thinking? You knew he was with me. You knew he had children. You knew he slept beside me every night. And you knew that I knew nothing. Is that what made it so delicious? So tempting? That I appeared by his side at various events, utterly clueless to what was going on behind my back? Did you feel triumphant? That you'd beat me at something? You would actually work so hard to start up a conversation with me – ask about our kids. Really? Who are you?

Okay, so I looked stupid, at least to you. Is the satisfaction of that worth sacrificing your own dignity? Because, really, how can you have any dignity when you're pulling on your panties in an empty office building as he races out the door to be home in time for dinner?

How can you have any dignity when you get 15 minutes in the back of a van, and then you have to drive yourself back to your pathetic home…while he returns to the one we built together.

And frankly, though I might have looked stupid, and perhaps pitiful, to you...and your moron friends who not only laughed at me, but at you as well.… (not that I give a **** about the opinions of low life welfare moms who spend their free time boinking each others husbands – because yeah, I know about that c*nt, too), I'll take stupid over sleazy, low and cruel any day of the week.

No matter how awful it felt to be me when I found out, I'd still take that over being you. No matter that my eyes were practically swollen shut from crying, I could still look myself square in the mirror without any shame.

Did you think it was simply a matter of time? That you would be appealing enough for him to walk away from the life he'd built? That all those fantasies you'd convinced yourself of – that I nagged, that I was lousy in bed, that I was boring and bitchy – were actually true? Did you really believe that any relationship based on deception would deliver you from your unhappiness?

And yes. You had to have been unhappy, you stupid **** . I must have been such a ***** in your eyes. I had it all, didn’t I? I worked hard, our friends (the same ones you were sleeping your way through), loved me and respected me. Some times even made decisions based on an opinion of mine. My children were well rounded, smart and most importantly had their Daddy living at home with them. I had the house, the cars, the brains. What did you have? A welfare cheque and legs so easily parted to expose a p*ssy that could bend metal. Quite the combination.

How does it feel to know that in the end no one respected you enough to stay and support your choices? You were good enough to lie down with, but how come no one wants to date you? Or move in with you? Or marry you, wh*re? Why is that, hmmm? I made it easy for you, huh? Isn’t that what you said? Yeah, you made it easy for me, too. Can you see me smiling?

My guess is that very few Homewreckers honestly admit their role as an accomplice in the intentional hurting and deception of another human being. Often another human being you don't know. Or barely know. Or perhaps, shockingly, know well. Instead, they sell themselves clichés. Something along the lines of "we couldn't help ourselves", "the chemistry was too powerful. All of which, I suspect you recognize on some level, as total bullshit.

Simply, because you knew. You knew that I was being hurt, even if I didn't yet know it. You knew I was being lied to and betrayed. You willingly participated in that…Oh so happily.

My children were being hurt…and yeah I know you don’t owe them anything, I mean they weren’t yours, right? You still contributed to the potential dissolution of their family. That was a choice you made, and you don’t get to absolve yourself from that responsibility. So, again? Who the **** do you think you are that you could deliberately inflict pain on my children? Did you think I would hear this news and see their pain, and not have ANY reaction to that? And I’m the stupid one, right? You call yourself a mother? You really are one stupid, c*nt, you know that?

And for what?

Maybe 10 mins? (I can speak freely now – and with soaring confidence that it wasn’t – could not have been so good - with such a complete lack of love and respect). You should know it took years of practice for him to get even that close. Besides, with the amount of d**ck you’ve had – can you even remember his, now?

Were the feelings of superiority, if only for the brief time he was with you, so intoxicating that it made all the humiliating departures, all the embarrassment when you were caught, all the shame this no doubt triggered, worth it?

And if he left me for you? What would you have gained? Three emotionally damaged children every second weekend? (Easy, wh*re…you can take the dollar signs out of your eyes, now…Wasn’t going to happen.)

A man who lies and cheats. A man who doesn't have the self-control to stop himself from doing something he knows to be wrong. To be hurtful. What a prize. Guess what? If he's not willing to become something better than that – he's all yours. You’d have gotten exactly what you deserve – exactly what you’re worth.

In this case, (because I’m sure you’ve done this before)…you were shocked when everyone having heard this story just up and left you to stand alone. Not one of them hesitated. Not for a second.

Though I’ve destroyed you in my head a thousand times, I loathe the look of you. I did feel a moment of pity for you. I mean who does something like this unless they value themselves so little that they settle for left overs rather than demand respect and kindness…unless they're so delusional that they really believe that this is how true love manifests.

I felt sorry enough for you that I wrote that letter to your family. I wanted you to get all the love and support you so obviously needed in order to change your ways. Your family – your mom, dad, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents – all of them listed with phone numbers and complete addresses– were best suited to help guide you back to the path of the straight and narrow. At least, I thought so. Can you see me smiling?

It has been over two years, wh*re July 17th, 2010 - a date that's seared into my mental calendar. I have no idea where you are now and I don’t care. I still wish you a painful, long, drawn out death…if only to spare another woman the agony of finding out that you're sleeping with her husband. Or if only to make sure that Karma gets it right and you don’t end up with a happily ever after.

So, while I’m sure you’re out there working hard on making another baby I’ll (and the rest of us hardworking citizens) will have to feed, telling yourself that you have every reason to hold your head up and that you’re worth all the drama – know that there was never any contest and you were never the prize.

Homewrecked Homewrecked
31-35, F
Dec 11, 2012