I Learned This The Hard Way

I used to believe I could change or "fix" other people . Only in the past 4 1/2 years since I quit drinking and have practiced the 12 steps have I come to realize that I can only change myself and nobody else. This information came to me at a heavy price though. I used to get with these men who I thought I could mold or change into something better or ....well you get the idea. I was with this one who got into a crack habit and he went into rehab. I thought he was cured and I tried to help change his wicked ways but I failed to do that and he ended up beating and robbing me in the end. I sent him to prison for what he did but you cannot take away the emotional scars. I am just glad that I have finally learned that I cannot change anybody but myself and do not even try to any more.
cinfullynn cinfullynn 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 29, 2011

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Have you had more than one sponsor ?

I do not believe in perfection, there is nothing to strive for if we think we r perfect. I did however forgive him for what he did because we forgive people for ourselves not for them.

Mm, I found out to! the only thing you have power over is your thoughts! once you gain control of your thoughts there will be no emotional scars unless you want them!

and the other thing is you are perfect! you don't need to apologize to anybody! but you do need to forgive!