I used to believe I could change or "fix" other people . Only in the past 4 1/2 years since I quit drinking and have practiced the 12 steps have I come to realize that I can only change myself and nobody else. This information came to me at a heavy price though. I used to get with these men who I thought I could mold or change into something better or ....well you get the idea. I was with this one who got into a crack habit and he went into rehab. I thought he was cured and I tried to help change his wicked ways but I failed to do that and he ended up beating and robbing me in the end. I sent him to prison for what he did but you cannot take away the emotional scars. I am just glad that I have finally learned that I cannot change anybody but myself and do not even try to any more.