How to Speak to Camels

How to speak to a camel is hard to explain, but I know how to do it, and I have amazed Arabs & white people alike when I do it.

It is a skill I learned when hanging out with the Bedouin in the Sinai Desert, during my second tour over there, back in 1986.

You start by approaching the camel. Camels ABSOLUTLEY HATE white folk, it's a war that dates back to the Dawn of Time.  They kick and bite and spit at us.  When they see me coming closer they get all wigged out - the start looking around, getting ready to perform war on the white man.  Thats when I make a sort of a "khkhkhkhkhkhkhkkhhk" kind of a sound in the back of your throat.  The camels know what this means and they kneel down, with this strange look on their face because NO white man has EVER spoken to a camel in it's own language - only Arabs.  After this they submit  to my will.  The rest of it is in Arabic - "Y'allah! Y'allah!" that sort of thing.

I've walked right into the middle of a heard of camels and done the trick; they're all around like dinosaurs above you and everything, very intimidating, but the trick always works and never ceases to amaze everyone around - the other white folk if there are any around, the Arabs because nobody has ever seen a white man who can speak to camels, and last but not least the camel itself. 

I've even milked the mares and drunk from the communal camel milk bowl with my Arab buddies.  When you share the camel milk like this, you become brothers, on account that you have just drunk from the same ***.

. . . sturmbringener sends . .

sturmbringener sturmbringener
46-50, M
2 Responses Jun 8, 2007

I think the camel is saying:<br />
<br />
These arab bastards kidnapped my baby and now she's somewhere out in the desert all alone.<br />
<br />
But now you've come along and I just know I'm going to get those curvaceous buttocks rubbing against my humps, I strangely feel all better. Thank you white man!

That's fracking awesome. Seriously. What an ability! In my mind it'd be great to be able to understand what the camels said back, but it's probably just mostly stuff about different types of sand, and the sun, and how fat some humans are :P