The Ficksau Of His Dreams

He's at a conference or a meeting or something out of town. So I pestered him a bit, first chatting him in German.  I did it as a lark, since I knew he spoke German as well as English.  I used Google translate to ask how he was, then desperately tried to figure out what his response meant.  I was just being silly, since I really don't know any German at all. 

He taught me some new words.  I'm not sure they'll be terribly useful in talking with anyone but him.

me‬: Herr _____
Wie geht es Ihnen heute Abend?
 
‪S‬: Es geht mir wohl
Uch suche eine geile ficksau un die kneipe

‪me‬: google translate isn't helping me much on that one... 
it tells me you just wrote
"Uch seeking a horny Ficksau un the pub"
what the hell is a ficksau?
I'm geile, does that count?
bahahaha
are you at the local bar?
perhaps I'll come spy on you

‪S‬: I'm in _____
 
‪me‬: oh, right
different pub
so what is a ficksau, S?
 
‪S‬: I had coffee with a lady i know

‪me‬: WHAT IS A FICKSAU?!
 
‪S‬: A **** 
Literally a **** pig
 
‪me‬: YE GODS 
You aren't usually so crude, darling.

‪S‬: No.. it's a technical term. Google it
Bdsm ficksau
 
‪me‬: I saw some clips of sex with pigs
they have curly *****, did you know that?
Like drill bits
very weird
 
‪S‬: Yes

‪me‬: I keep getting men wanting to be my toilet from collar me 
there are almost no straight Doms on that site
even the most Dominant Doms confess they are willing to take my *******
 
‪S‬: I'm going to the bar

‪me‬: I miss you already
 
‪S‬: Wish me luck
 
‪me‬: May you find the fuckpig of your dreams, dear
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
4 Responses Dec 4, 2012

My ex is an army brat. His family were stationed in Germany for years. The only German he remembers now is how to count to 10 and how to ask for a *******. -_-

When I was stationed in Berlin I took a German class. I treasured my very rudimentary skills in helping we get around. "Wo ist der banhoff?" (Where is the train station?) was invaluable. And people so much appreciate that you have tried to learn their language, no matter your proficiency. But truth be known, it is much easier for an American to communicate in Europe and Asia because so many natives there speak English, and often quite well.

Yeah, no kidding. They put Americans to shame, that's for sure. When I was in Germany, Italy, Austria and Switzerland, if someone didn't know English, they almost always knew French, which I have studied. So we did just fine.

I remember riding on a bus with some GI's one day headed downtown. They started bitching about not being able to read storefront signs that weren't in English. I just laughed at the ignorance. Rather than learn some German, they expected that everything should be slanted to them. One guy was looking for a drug store. I saw a sign that said, "Apoteke", and I told him there it is. I quickly reasoned that apoteke, meant apothecary, and as we got closer, I saw picture of a mortar and pestle on the window. But these guys were about a million miles away from that kind of logic. Forget the language barrier of German, they had no idea what apothecary meant nor what a mortar and pestle are. Sadly, they were products of our weak public education system. That's why I would get angry when I'd hear guys act so dumb, expecting that everything, even in a foreign country, should be slanted to them. It's also why I wanted to be an officer. I had been enlisted for 11 years, and by that point in my life, I knew that I would get more out if my career as an officer. Other than the leadership opportunities, I wanted to hang with smarter and more cultured guys. I was ambitious.

I can write in German too. I just won't be able to read what I wrote.

omg. I should know better than to trawl the depths of the internet. I ended up here... http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=j49Rv-S850- Sheesh...Funny tho...

WTH?! Charlie, that is demented. :-)

WTF Charlie!? *Smacks self* Never ever follow Charlie links. >:[

No kidding.

LOL.... Did you stick it long enough to see his cumface at the end??????!!! Had me rolling about laughing..... *pulls cumface*

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