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I Am Much More Coherent When Writing Than When Speaking

I'm a very nervous, neurotic person, and I'm painfully shy. I have a social phobia. I have many insecurities, and I'm constantly thinking that nobody will want to hear what I have to say, that no one will care, that I've got nothing interesting to contribute. So I find it very difficult to speak aloud, and when I do, I always stumble over my words, I get confused, I get tongue-tied, and I muddle everything up, which embarrasses me, and makes me not want to speak very much. My mind often goes completely blank when I have to speak to someone, too. It's either that, or I just can't get the words out properly. Thus, I never properly say what I really want to say.

So, instead I write about it. I constantly feel like I’m carrying around this huge, overbearing weight that presses down on my shoulders, and it helps a little to put pen to paper - or fingers to keyboard - and expel some of that pent-up emotion by writing it down. I write everything I'm feeling, everything I'm thinking (though I don't post all of it.) Writing things down often helps me to put things into perspective, too - it helps me to sort things out in my head, to figure out what exactly I'm feeling if I'm confused about my emotions.

I think another reason I can write better than I can speak is that when I'm writing there's no pressure or time limit on me to get things out there. You know what I mean? When someone's speaking to you, they're waiting for a response, and you can't take as long as you need to sort things out in your head. I need time for that. I need to ponder, to figure out what it is I think about something. I don't automatically have the answers. Words don't come naturally to me, but when I'm writing, they just flow. When I write I don't stumble or hesitate, I don't skip a beat, I rarely have to stop and think about it..the words just pour out of me.

I wish I could be as articulate as this when speaking aloud.




Ragelovelumos Ragelovelumos 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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I feel the same way. Writing allows me to organize my thoughts and adjust my words to express exactly what I want to say. I'm not blessed with the "gift of gab" but it doesn't make me any less competent, nor you. Talk is (or can be) cheap (impulsive).

You are indeed very articulate! This is one of the most well written, coherent stories I have seen in a long time on EP. Most stories I see are so rambling, disjointed and full of spelling and grammar mistakes that it's difficult for me to follow them. <br />
For me, it has nothing to do with being shy. I can never properly get out what I want to say, so talking to people really frustrates me. I don't enjoy it. Also, since I'm not too intelligent, I have nothing to contribute. Whenever I do speak aloud, people always dismiss or belittle whatever I have to say.<br />
You're very wise not to post everything you're thinking. That can get you in trouble. Discretion is another valuable skill to have. Please don't feel bad about not talking a lot. Sometimes when people talk too much, their mouths get ahead of the brains ( if you know what I mean ). If you express your thoughts mostly through writing, you can better avoid "foot in the mouth" moments.<br />
You seem very mature and wise beyond your years. Keep writing; don't let this kind of talent go to waste!<br />
Take care!

Keep doing what you're doing, the more you write the more it helps :)