Cancer In You And Me

Cancer in you and me
Your rage, anger, aggression toward me are always there in the back of my head. I wish I can burry them deep down under the earth and stay there forever!!! But I can't....they keep coming back
I wanted to forgive you, but I can't
I wanted to move on, but I can't

I can still feel the warm on my cheeks from your burly hand
made my heart pounding so hard
I can still feel the strong bully hands on my neck
made me chocked up in tears
I can still feel the strong hand pulled my hair hard
made my heart bleed
I can still feel the big body of yours pushed me against the wall
couch, sink, and dressers in many different fights we had
made my heart sink down to the floor
I can still feel the disgusting spits on my face
made me so angry
I can still hear all the hurtful words that cut to my deepest heart
I cried

I wish I can stand up for myself
but I am scare
I wish I can have self respect
I do, but I don't

I wanted to believe your CANCER made you to be this man
but no!!! You did before this
and getting worse....

I wish you would love me the right way, but
you can't
I wish I can love you the right way, but
I try

I will stay
because I care about you
I will stay because I still love you
I will stay because you were once my prince charming
I will be here until the end for you!!!
hannapaulina hannapaulina
46-50, F
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Thank you for thoughtful reply. I am dealing with a sick and abusive husband with cancer. I can't stand living like this but I can't stand on leaving him in this condition either. I feel under appreciate, I feel hurts emotionally, I feel unwanted, I feel torn inside, I feel everything crushing down on me!!! But thank you for your kind words.

Cancers are emotional... seated within the home and family... but..emotionally their is a moon sign... the emotional side... for instance... I am Capricorn, with a Loe and Cancer moon..right imbetween. It's like being haunted... I see things analytically... with logic all the time... but my feelings are leo passionate with the feelings open like a Cancer... which means only one thing for me. I study you, and look at your emotions, feel you emotions passionately and look for a reply that creates all of those. In other words. I have cool Capricorn head... with an Cancer emotional understanding and Loe passion to understand those emotions well. I thought I was the caculated person who needed no one... until I worked as nursing assistant and found nurturing side that actually mattered. A drive to help those in need with knowledge and emotion side by side working together. So, why are you like that? Why is it that way... Both Cancers... I guess sun signs...but, the question is Moon Signs... the emotional side... If you happen to beleive in astrology? What are your Moon signs? It could mean the keys to answer that... fi you beleive in that sort of stuff... interesting to see...fun to look at...sometimes uncanny in nature...