Married and Trusted

I was married for ten years, ten years ago. My husband left me for my best friend and divorced me. He was a nice guy and had a big moral slip. I have basically stayed single for all these years. I have stayed celibate and very independent. I almost believed I was supposed to just stay single and I was okay with that. I had some friends who met this "wonderful guy" at a conference and they gave him my email address. I decided to take a risk and we started to write and really clicked. After about a month of corresponding we met and I fell very much in love with this guy I didn't really know. It was against my better judgement, however, I thought it was time for a risk. Anyway, our relationship progressed and we married that next fall only 4 months after meeting...I know I am stupid....but I thought he was just a good guy who was single like me and just normal waiting for his mrs. right. He was so good with his words and always told me how he wanted to be this wonderful husband and just gave me so many wonderful promises. He had three kids from a previous marriage. Anyway, we had this beautiful wedding, everyone so happy for me especially with my story of waiting for "the one." Literally, once the honeymoon was over so was the marriage. Once I moved from FL to VA and left friends and family he had me and all the sudden I was his property. He was weird, abusive and mean. I knew something was wrong the first weekend I was there and before long I knew I was in an oppressive, abusive relationship. I left after 3 weeks and then went back because he promised he would change. I stayed for just another 3 months and was told by his friends what a jerk and all about his past and all these relationships that were controlling and abusive as well. I found out about a **** problem and he is a minister's kid and he used the Bible to control me and abuse me by saying how I didn't obey him. He got a little physical by throwing fire on me to show me an object lesson, long story, not as bad as it sounds but the point is, it could have turned physical downt he road. It was a total shock. I guess I am to blame seeing I didn't give it enough time, however, again, I thought it was time for a risk since I had been so careful. Again, I can't believe this has happened....I hope I don't let this take me under. I am bitter, angry and so upset over how this turned out. I had so much hope.
reeree reeree
36-40, F
1 Response Jun 4, 2007

everything happens for a reason, sometimes the journey is to realize the lived for the hope, now live for the escape, and hope will return again. i have hope for you :)