Supporting A Friend

I have known this guy for about 5 years now. I know his entire family from wife, kids to mom, aunts and uncles. I was in an abusive relationship both physically and emotionally. My guy had multiple affairs and a child was born out of one of the affairs. My friend helped me through all of it. He made me see that I deserved better than a compulsive cheater and abuser. About two weeks ago, he found out that his wife had been seeing someone else since thanksgiving and had sleep with the man the week before his birthday. He's been married 26 years and he loves her so much. I am trying to be supportive of his discision to make his marrage work but he has this hurt in his eyes everytime he speaks her name. The bad thing about it is that she's playing the victim. Her reasons were that he neglected her but it's not the first time she has done it. The first time she did it, he caught her before she went to far. Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect, he did ignore her alot but he has had alot and I do mean alot of opportunities to cheat on her, but he has never done it. She is his world. I am afraid that if he doesnt admit his anger and hurt, they are really never going to get past it. I want them to work it out but I am afraid that once things start getting difficult, she's going to cheat again. I know that if she does cheat again, he wont make it. How can I help? Any advise.

desperatefriend desperatefriend
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 22, 2010

You're looking for advice in the WRONG place.<br />
<br />
Believe me.<br />
<br />
The general consensus<br />
is that it is ALWAYS the man's fault.<br />
<br />
One way or another.<br />
<br />
Sure... <br />
maybe a little bit of the blame<br />
goes to the woman...<br />
but yeah...<br />
the man.<br />
Always.<br />
<br />
It's bullshit.<br />
But people will believe what they want to believe...