Pretty Confused

So i have commitment issues, and every time i start seeing a guy my friends count the days until i end it. Then, i met a guy who i clicked with instantly. I wanted to take things slow with him, and really get to know him. We spoke every day, constantly with each other. He worked really long un predictable shifts but we still managed to make time for each other, as well as text each other. However, about a month in he started calling me his girlfriend. At first, i was a bit scared but just went with it as i cared about him. Then, he invited me to meet his parents. I freaked, but never said anything and just braved it. About two months in, he says he loves me. I didn't know how to react because it was waaay too soon. I told him jokingly, "You can't love me yet" and he kind of nodded and said "Maybe. I know i could definitely learn to love you"
Everything was going great, i enjoyed being smothered and started to freak out less and less. Our sex life was getting more amazing by the second and i was falling for him. There were a few problems however, just like every other relationship. He is 10 years older than me, (Me being 19) and he hangs about with a lot of guys in there late 30's and 40's. Everytime i'm in the pub with his friends, i do find it quite difficult to make conversation with them. I try, but they latch on to my age and seem to be concious of it too. So i told him i found it difficult to talk to his friends, he did seem a bit hurt by this. Then, he got 5 days off of work. We made plans, but he canceled to go out for his friends birthday which was absolutely fine! He never spoke to me all day even though to my knowledge he was sitting about the house. This was really out of the ordinary, for he text me every day sounding so enthusiastic and happy.
I log onto facebook, and see on his profile a stunning girl comments saying "Thanks for the lift home, that jaccuzzi was so tiring" As a woman, i add two and two together and FREAK. I kept it quiet then jokingly brought it up in conversation, but then this seemed to spark something with him. We sorted it out and it was just a misunderstanding, so i made plans with him on the Sunday. He cancels, but thats okay because we made plans for the Tuesday to spend all day together. He cancels. He stops texting, he starts acting weird. I go round to his to chat to him, he says he's acting weird because of the time of year. This is when his girlfriend of six years left him to go to America, and he feels like we're going too fast. I'm confused by this, as hes the one thats making everything go so fast. We talk about things, i still don't understand why he's changed his tune but i decide to give him space and he reassures me everything is fine. A week later, i ask him if he wants to hang out on Saturday, he says that's fine. Then all of a sudden, it's not fine as he made plans with his brother. I text him on the sunday asking how his night went, he told me it was boring as he just stayed in himself. Which made me quite angry, as he tells me everythings fine but doesn't want to spend time with me at all.
Then today, on valentines day, i get a text from him saying he can't commit.
In all honesty, i have absolutely no idea why he changed so fast and why he broke up with me. I don't think i have ever been this confused in my life!!
Stefxo Stefxo
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 14, 2011

I have just found out, that he cheated on me! and is now going out with the girl that he cheated on me with. So, him canceling his plans - was probably so he could be with her.

Wow I went through almost exactly the same thing except mines asked me out and then told me I wasn't his type after 4 months. So, yeah when you don't understand it's hard to accept.

Yeah, i think your right. He is a coward for not just being honest with me and messing me about so much. Ah well, it's over now.

age difference. not that ten years is alot but you are in different stages of your life. you dont understand his friends, as they cant relate to you. it wouldnt be a huge deal if you were 29 and he was 39, as both have passed the college days, found careers, etc. he is definitely an *** for not stepping up and being honest from the get go. but you two are at two different stages of your life, which is could be a reason he did what he did