Where Are The Plans We Made For Two?

I was 13 when I had my first crush. We were in the same school, then I had to move back to Canada. He stayed in China. We didn't talk much for five years, because school was so difficult over there, and he had no cell phone or computer. He came from a pretty poor family. His father passed away when he was only two years old, and his mother works in a grocery story as a custodian.

I went back to China when I was 18 and we began dating. It was a long distance relationship because I had to come back to Canada for studies. I am in second year university right now. We lasted for a year and a half before we broke up. I even planned on going back to China after my studies, because my family is over there, and my only intention of being here is to finish my bachelor degree. We have two more years to go, before I can move back permanently, but half-way through, he gave up.

I guess it's my fault, cus I always get in the habit of doing too much. When we started dating, March of 2011, I go back in the summer and winter, so that way we see each other every 3-4 months. When I go back, I live in a hotel near his school so we can spend more time together. I pay for all my flight fare, hotel, and food with the money I earned from work. When summer comes, we go on vacations, and I paid for his everything. Since this is a long distance relationship, I even bought him an iPhone so we can communicate easier. Later, he mentions that he wanted a laptop but was missing $300, so I lend him that money, but he didn't talk about it afterwards.

We were truly in love. We talked about everything together. He told me he had two past girlfriends. The first one was with him for about half a year, before he dumped her, because he didn't like her anymore. She asked him to get back several times, but he wouldn't. After two months, she began to date someone else, and he did too. He dated this girl when he was 17, for about ten months (a school year). Apparently, this girl wasn't too nice. She went on his account and bragged to his first girlfriend, about all the ways he "chased" her, but it was the other way around, she actually was the one who asked him out. This girl spazzed at his first girl friend, and tried to compare everything to her, making herself look good and desirable.

His best friend didn't like her, nobody liked her, except for him. They were together for a school year, then she liked somebody else, and told him that she didnt like him anymore. He was upset for the longest time, then found out it was because she liked someone else. He was angry, that she wasnt being totally honest. It took him half a year to move on, it was March 2011 that he started dating me and he was so confident that we were going to be together for the longest time. He made promises, but then again, I guess I should've known better.

I gave him my everything, and now I realized I was too nice. We were together until Sept 13, 2012. He asked to break up. We had a perfect summer together, and went traveling, I didn't understand why. Later, I found out he got back with his ex. His best friend didn't know about this until I told him. His best friend is good friends with me, and always supported us being together, cus everyone saw the sacrifices I've made to get to this point. I think he didn't tell people about him getting back with his ex, because then people would disapprove, or make judgements.

He is in a college doing construction, where he stays in school for a year, then go out for work experience. He just left for work yesterday, he went out of the city, and this career prep is at least half a year, and may go up to one year. He is also in a long distance relationship with his girl friend right now.

I know it wasn't the distance that separated us. Right now communication is so easy, and I am half way through my studies. Two more years until I can move back, and make a future for the both of us. Why couldn't he just wait for two more years? During this time, he's working anyways, he can't see his girl friend anyways cus they're in different cities. I go back every summer, for four months, just to be with him. We spent every moment together, and I guess that's why he got bored. People just never treasure things. What is upsetting, is that he went back to a girl who dumped him and dated many people after him, while I remained and stayed faithful all this time. I liked him since I was 13, and did not date anyone, until I started to date him at 18. Now I am almost 20. He's my first love. It's hard to forget.

I still plan to move back to China after two years. I don't like it here, and it'll be hard to find a job with a bachelor of Arts. I like my friends and family in China. I like the culture and everything there better. I can also find a better job there. My whole family wants to move back too. Somewhere deep inside, I hope that in two years, when we see each other again, maybe he would realize what he had lost, but then things will never be the same again. Maybe he won't regret anything. I'm just holding false hope.
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1 Response Oct 15, 2012

From what I see..I think you deserve better...dont lose hope..hang in there, it'll happen...:)